Ashes and Flight

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. -Kahlil Gibran

In the process of re-evaluating my understanding of my role in the realm of God and whatever connection I may (or may not) have with the nation of Israel through the blood of the Messiah, I've spent (as I'm sure you well know) a significant amount of time deconstructing my theology and stripping it down to its base components. I can't say the process has been painless and a significant amount of doubt has entered my life as a result. In one sense, I wish this journey on every person of faith because for all its difficulty, there are great rewards not only at the end of the road, but at every milepost. In another way, I wouldn't wish this "discomfort" on my worst enemy in life. It's like deliberately inviting the following:

But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. -James 1:6-8

In my case, this is meant to be a temporary condition, but it's not a pleasant thing to say to yourself and to ask other people, How do I know what I think I know?"

Although I've only been asking these sorts of questions on my personal blog for the last month (which is the reason I created this blog in the first place), I've been pursuing this line of inquiry for a great deal longer, sometimes on my congregation's blog. For instance, in trying to imagine what a mixed Jewish-Gentile congregation might look like in a first century Messianic synagogue, I wrote Friday Night in the First Century Church. Some of my understanding has shifted just a bit since I wrote that article, but it does capture the essence of my quest to understand how to worship the Jewish Messiah as a Gentile believer.

I've also tried to get a better understanding of how Judaism (the larger Judaism, not Messianic Judaism, specifically) sees and understands Gentiles and our place in the world. This isn't as irrelevant as you might imagine. If the current expression of Messianic Judaism (MJ) and particularly those congregations that embrace the Bilateral Ecclesiology (BE) perspective truly encompass a Jewish world view, then understanding how believing Gentiles fit in to the believing Jewish paradigm should be very connected to how Judaism as a whole sees the non-Jewish world.

To that end, I tried to explore the topic in an article called What Does the Talmud Say About Gentiles? Interestingly, I received almost no comments in response to this particular article, perhaps because the One Law (OL) movement has little or no interest in the Talmudic commentary on non-Jews.

Reliable online sources for this information are scarce, but I was able to come up with a body of information that seemed to support a Jewish view of Gentiles as indeed being "created in the image of God" and out of that, a Jewish response to Gentiles that may surprise some, even those who are part of the Messianic Jewish movement.

I'm beginning to realize that it may be because Gentiles are grafted in to the root of the "civilized olive tree" that Messianic Jews have a harder time dealing with believing Gentiles (at least those of us who operate within "the movement") than traditional rabbinic Jews. I think I've said before that, because the larger body of Judaism doesn't see Gentiles grafted in to their root, the threat of "invasion" and supersessionism isn't quite as sharp. Jewish people who have willingly become a part of the Messianic Jewish movement must also (sometimes uncomfortably) deal with sheep from the Gentile pen joining the flock under the same shepherd (John 10:14-17) and the obligation of Messianic Jews to disciple to Gentiles (Matthew 28:16-20).

Yesterday afternoon, I wrote the article Ecumenical in almost a state of desperation because I found it necessary to surrender an assumption I thought I'd never have to give up; the lack of an original Messianic worship template that included both Gentiles and Jews. One fragment of my plan of hope in finding a greater peace between Jewish and Gentile "Messianics" was shot down in flames like Snoopy's Sopwith Camel taking a nosedive thanks, once again, to the Red Baron.

It's amazing what a little prayer and a good night's sleep can do. Although the good night's sleep part wasn't as complete as I needed, God is faithful and like the proverbial Phoenix, I am once again arising from my own ashes into a light of a new day. Speaking of fire metaphors:

But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the LORD, as in days of old and as in previous years. -Malachi 3:2-4

While the Prophet Malachi is speaking to a strictly Jewish audience, Peter's commentary on Malachi allows the "refiner's fire" metaphor to be applied to Gentile believers as well:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. -1 Peter 1:6-9

Once again, I'm pouring water on the embers, dusting the ashes off my skin, rubbing salve into the burns, and rising hopefully. I may even decide to take flight.