The Discordant Army

Regarding one's spiritual development, the Netziv provides a terrific insight when commenting on the verse, "Follow the path of your heart" (Ecclesiastes 11:9). He states that each individual Jew must find their own way of serving God. Some people carry out their divine service through study or prayer, while others focus more on charity or acts of kindness. Of course, a person can engage in all of these at different times, but it's important to find a specific focus through which you can personally find meaning and fulfill your mission in life. Whichever particular path happens to attract you most, work on it. Every single one of us has the ability to cultivate the divine spark God has given us and achieve greatness.
-from The Power of the Individual
Lev Echad blog

It's Friday morning again and time to reflect upon the state of community (or lack thereof) in the Christian and particularly the "Messianic" world of faith. I was intrigued that blog writer Asher at Lev Echad would be writing on a theme that has been one of my favorites lately. I previously wrote about how an individual can be the answer to prayer and Asher also comments that each of us has something unique to give.

Joshua Brumbach also discussed this theme in relation to this week's Torah portion, Parashat Pekudei as illustrated by one man, Moses, completing the work on the Mishkan in the desert and opening the door for the Divine Presence to dwell among His people. While Joshua sees the act of Moses as a leader humbling himself to "get his hands dirty" and finalizing the Mishkan's construction, I see Moses representing each of us as we do our part to repair the world and prepare for the coming of the Jewish Messiah.

However, Asher touched on a very important point that I think needs to be drawn out:

This can be taken one step further when it comes to a person's career. Although it's terrific for any man or woman to pursue their professional dreams, if they decide to become a stay-at-home parent, for instance, they should also be proud of their work. It always bothers me when women say something like, "I'm just a housewife." In my opinion, that's the most important job on earth. You're raising a family, being gracious to guests, and maintaining a peaceful home, among other things. What's more important than that?! Great things tend to be accomplished by people who embrace what they do and give it everything they have - no matter who may denigrate them from the outside. Never let anyone undermine the passion you give to what you believe is your calling in life.

When I'm in services and reciting and singing prayers, I'm sometimes very aware of how poorly I speak Hebrew and how badly I sing (something like a frog with a sore throat). I could practice diligently and probably improve my Hebrew somewhat (though languages aren't among my talents), but nothing will ever make me a better singer. I also must admit (with some embarrassment) that although it is a kindness and a commandment to visit the sick, I feel sort of creeped out in hospitals. It's not that I can't go in a hospital to visit someone, it's just that I don't look forward to doing so. Gee. I don't look forward to obeying God and making someone's life a little happier. That sounds bad.

It's easy to look at what I can't do and to feel lousy about the holes in my faith, my deeds of kindness, and my personality. I don't know. Maybe you feel the same way about yourself or maybe you don't. Most people in the religious blogosphere tend to emphasize how terrific they are and showcase the areas where they are well accomplished, so it's hard for me to tell.

I have to struggle to remember that, as Asher says, I should never "let anyone undermine the passion you give to what you believe is your calling in life." Of course, not all denigration comes from the outside. Often, our worst enemy is the person inside our head. If you are (if I am) not skilled in many areas, there is still likely at least one thing you have to offer:

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.

Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot were to say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear were to say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? -1 Corinthians 12:12-17 (NRSV)

What's the one thing I do obsessively? What's the one thing I can't seem to go a day without doing? C'mon, it's not hard to guess. In fact, you're reading it now.

God "wired" me to write. I don't know if it does any good to anyone besides me (and I sometimes wonder even about me), but like a billion other people, I hop on the Internet, fire up Blogger, and spew my thoughts and feelings onto the web for someone or no one to read. I named my very first blog A Million Chimpanzees in "honor" of the phrase, "It's been said that if you give a million chimpanzees a million typewriters, they'll eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare", essentially making fun of the importance of blogging (and in a world where anyone can create a blog, is there any significance to blogging?).

But whether it's worth it or not, here I am, a soldier among an infinite army of bloggers, marching to the drummer's beat I hear in my head and occasionally tripping over my own two feet, dropping my rifle, and falling into the mud. Sometimes, I even get stepped on. Sometimes I step on others. It's a mess.

Moses completed the Mishkan and ushered in the single most important event in the history of the Jewish people: bringing the living God into the community of Israel. Rabbi Jerome Epstein writes on the importance each, individual Jew has in repairing the world in order to summon the Messiah to rescue the Jewish nation and to "fix" humanity. Yet in both of these pictures, we see the individual acting within the context of community. Moses was the Prophet of the Children of Israel and each Jew acts within the context of overall Judaism, and it is Israel that the Messiah will save as a nation.

Thus says the Lord God: When I gather the house of Israel from the peoples among whom they are scattered, and manifest my holiness in them in the sight of the nations, then they shall settle on their own soil that I gave to my servant Jacob. They shall live in safety in it, and shall build houses and plant vineyards. They shall live in safety, when I execute judgements upon all their neighbours who have treated them with contempt. And they shall know that I am the Lord their God. -Ezekiel 28:25-26 (NRSV)

Although we are all gifted by God so that we may serve him, both Jew and Gentile, we don't act in isolation, even if we are alone. Certainly no one Jew can be separated from Judaism and even if a Jew isn't religious; even if a Jew doesn't believe God exists, he or she will always be a Jew. What about Christians? Our connection is by choice, not by birth. We can choose to quit. We can choose to fail. Do we operate in community or, like the endless stream of bloggers in cyberspace, do we march discordantly to a million different beats, each charting our own confused and aimless course, a parade of one without a leader or goal?

And I heard the number of those who were sealed, one hundred and forty-four thousand, sealed out of every tribe of the people of Israel: From the tribe of Judah twelve thousand sealed,from the tribe of Reuben twelve thousand,from the tribe of Gad twelve thousand, from the tribe of Asher twelve thousand,from the tribe of Naphtali twelve thousand,from the tribe of Manasseh twelve thousand, from the tribe of Simeon twelve thousand,from the tribe of Levi twelve thousand,from the tribe of Issachar twelve thousand, from the tribe of Zebulun twelve thousand,from the tribe of Joseph twelve thousand,from the tribe of Benjamin twelve thousand sealed. -Revelation 7:4-8 (NRSV)

We see again in the apocalyptic Christian text that 144,000 members of each of the 12 tribes of Israel will be "sealed". But is there anyone else?

After this I looked, and there was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, robed in white, with palm branches in their hands. They cried out in a loud voice, saying,
‘Salvation belongs to our God who is seated on the throne, and to the Lamb!’ -Revelation 7:9-10

Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city. On either side of the river is the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, producing its fruit each month; and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. Nothing accursed will be found there any more. But the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him; they will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. -Revelation 22:1-4 (NRSV)

Yes, the rest of us, at least some of us, will be there at the end. Just as the Master prophesied:

When Jesus heard him, he was amazed and said to those who followed him, ‘Truly I tell you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith. I tell you, many will come from east and west and will eat with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven... -Matthew 8:10-11 (NRSV)

So here I am and tonight the Shabbat enters the world once again. Some of us will welcome her into our home and we will attempt to taste a brief moment of the sweetness that will come when the Messiah reigns. The Shabbat is a day of worship and community and we can shine as a part of the body of Messiah. But the body is not whole. We have this congregation and that doing what they think best. Small collections of people spinning away from the other groups or disastrously colliding with them. We are together and we are apart. Within our own groups, we are sometimes together but we are apart. As I continue on my own individual path, I can feel myself pulling away from my group and charting my own course. But how can I be sure that I'm following God on the path and that the Messiah walks with me?

How can any of us?

But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you. -Batman Begins (2005)

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark, alone.