Traveling Alone

"Madonna said she just felt something was really missing in her life. After all the money, fame and everything, something was still missing. She came to our center where she felt she could just be herself, without the need to hide behind the curtain she always puts around herself. She can be an ordinary person. That's how she explained it to me."

Rabbi Yehuda Berg
Los Angeles Kabbalah Center
from The agent of Kabbalah

What attracts someone as unlikely to be involved in any sort of spiritual endeavour as Madonna to the study of Kabbalah? According to Rabbi Berg, as quoted above, it's a fundamental sense of emptyness or the feeling that, despite being materially successful, that something is still missing.

This is often the same reason people give for turning to Christianity, Buddhism, or some other form of religous observance and study. But Judaism, and certainly Kabbalah, aren't quite the same thing as other religious forms. For instance, Judaism doesn't seek converts and most often actively discourages people from attempting to convert. Also, Kabbalah isn't exactly a "Religion 101" class and Jewish mysticism can be very...mystic.

I find myself attracted to Judaism and sometimes I feel as if my newly-launched journey into studying the foundations of Christianity simply reinforces that attraction. I can't speak to Kabbalah, since I've never even read the Zohar (though it is on my reading list), but why are Christians and other non-Jews interested in and attracted to Judaism?

The other question that's important is, even if Gentiles are attracted to Judaism, why should Judaism, in any sense, open their doors to non-Jews? In the not-so-distant past, some Gentiles have feigned an interest and entered into Jewish study only to ultimately betray their would-be mentors. This would certainly seem to be ample motivation for Judaism to keep its doors closed. Rabbi Berg offers his perspective:

"We genuinely believe that Torah was given to everyone, and if these people come on Shabbat to listen to the Torah or on Rosh Hashana to hear the sound of the shofar, then we've done what it takes.

"We don't feel the need to convert them, and they're happy with the current situation too. We're happy to see them visit Israel because although it is the Jewish state, it has a huge attraction power."

In answering the question, "why should Gentiles reach out to Judaism?", Berg responds:

"It's a chance to broaden one's horizons. The Americans are a sort of herd, going where everyone's going. We believe people have to choose their own way. If it works for them they should use it, and if not they shouldn’t use it. There is a sort of openness in studying. There are famous people who are studying, which helps people connect."

""Torah was not only given to Jews; everything was given to everyone," Berg explains. "Kosher food is not necessarily ours either. Rabbi Shraga (Yehuda's father) says it's open to everyone and we're open to everyone in physical places too – on the Internet and through teachers teaching on Skype."

Of course, Rabbi Berg and the Kabbalah Center are not without their critics:

The Kabbalah Center is often slammed for allegedly trying to make headlines in any way, which does not match the principles of Kabbalah. "We had no intentional strategy to recruit famous people," Berg defends himself. "The way they reached us shows that it all came from them, not at all from us."

Indeed, the Kabbalah Centers are subject to widespread criticism. People say they extort money from people, advance a Torah which is distancing itself from Judaism, pretend to predict the future and adopt Christian symbols. There have even been claims that some of the content being taught in the classes is linked to anti-Semitism.

Rabbi Berg isn't the only one suggesting that Judaism and the Torah can have a wider appeal than just to the Jewish people. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has almost made a career out of offering aspects of Judaism to non-Jews. Last November, I published a blog post reporting on his statements in the media promoting Seven Steps to Judaism for Non-Jews and one of Rabbi Boteach's better known books is Judaism for Everyone. What's going on here?

I don't have a Jewish perspective on why Jews would extend the Torah to non-Jews. Even Rabbi Berg says "There is a part in Judaism which wants it to be for Jews only", so the motivation for some Jewish Rabbis to reach a hand across the gulf that separates Jews from the rest of the world seems difficult to grasp. It is far easier to understand why Judaism would seek to isolate itself from the nations, given the long, painful, and often bloody history of how Gentiles in virtually every nation on earth, have sought to subvert, marginalize, subdue, harrass, and murder Jews.

This brings me back to the question, why are non-Jews attracted to Judaism? We don't have Jewish missionaries knocking on the doors of our homes trying to share the joys of the Torah with us. Synagogues aren't putting signs out front saying that "Everyone is welcome" and posting the times they offer services. Rabbi's aren't "televangelizing" on Saturday mornings, telling "the nations" to repent and seek the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

In fact, Messianic Judaism, the form of Judaism that by definition is most likely to seek to build a bridge between the Jewish and Christian worlds, struggles in its approach-avoidance relationship with Christianity and the Gentile disciples within their own midst (and keep in mind that in the world of psychology, "approach-avoidance" behavior is considered pathological).

I think that many Christians seek to satisfy their attraction to Judaism by joining the Messianic Jewish (MJ) world. The One Law (OL) movement within MJ is a particularly safe haven because of the basic premise in OL that Jews and Gentiles are completely equal, not only in the eyes of God, but in the observance of the mitzvot (Torah commandments). More "formal" Messianic Judaism proposes a "Bilateral Ecclesiology" approach whereby, Jews and Gentiles are equal in the sense of access to God, but not in terms of status, role, or mitzvot observance. While the majority of members in Messianic Jewish congregations are not Jewish, there is a drive in Messianic Judaism to develop a relationship with the larger Jewish community, and the presence of so many "Christians" in MJ congregations is at least an embarrassment if not actually an impediment to Jewish acceptance and community.

Despite all of the speed bumps, you still see Gentiles being drawn to the God of Jacob out of a sincere desire to find the true meaning of the God they (we) worship. Modern Christianity emphasizes belief and communal worship but tends to minimize directing the faithful to extend themselves into the world of doing charity and serving others (this isn't absolute, since many churches do have outreach and missionary programs). In contrast, Judaism promotes "deed over creed" and belief and especially spirituality as an abstract concept, are pushed to one side, in favor of "doing" the will of God, not just "feeling" it.

Judaism offers a structure that I don't think Christianity fully understands. Everyone belongs (if they're Jewish) and everyone knows their place. If you are a fairly concrete thinker, Judaism is a more understandable religious form. If you are an expansive and adventurous thinker, study of Torah and Talmud is also an attractive form of "doing" the mitzvot, since studying is a type of worship in its own right.

But does allowing Christians access to Judaism in any form make sense given the long, long history of enmity between these two "sister" religions? I sometimes wonder.

While on the surface, you can find numerous "interfaith" groups seeking to better the world based on their common values, this activity really obscures how truly alien Christianity and Judaism are to each other. The media uses the term Judeo-Christian as if there is more than a casual relationship between our two worlds but this is more of a political, rather than religious term. Christians still bristle at how Jews refuse to accept Jesus as the Jewish Messiah (and some churches still relate to Jews as "Christ-killers") and Jews still view Christian outreach with suspicion, seeing the specter of conversion and assimiilation continuing to cast a threatening shadow over a dwindling Jewish population.

As an intermarried husband (my wife is Jewish...non-Messianic), I live in a world where I walk on a bridge daily. My wife and I share children, a grandson, and a history of almost 29 years of marriage, but when she began the journey to reclaim her Judaism not many years ago, first through the Reform synagogue, and now with the Chabad, the world of religion and faith became one where we do not always easily interact. I know there are certain subjects that we do not address in conversation for the sake of peace in the home, and neither one of us is likely to be able (or in my wife's case, willing) to visit the other's place of worship.

Even having said all of that, I don't see myself surrendering my interest in Jewish study and worship. In one sense, it gives my wife and I a common platform on which to discuss God and who He is to us. On a more personal level, it provides a larger context for me to understand my own Christian faith with the realization that the Jewish people worshipped the One God and kept His Shabbat and His commandments thousands of years before the birth of Christ. I often ponder on the thought that when Moses was on Sinai immersed in the holiness of Hashem, my ancestors were no doubt making blood offerings to unspeakable pagan idols. Who am I and who is Christianity to say that the Jews have no valuable and instructive insights into the God we all claim to honor?

While I find the bridge between our two worlds compelling, and apparently so do a fair number of other non-Jews, I fear that my particular perspective is rather unique. Each of the groups I've mentioned, despite overtures of outreach and community, continue to reside within their walled castles and exist primarily to service their own members. Christians still tend to talk about improving their "witness" but emphasize transmitting a verbal message rather than offering a helping hand. Judaism, with the exceptions of people like Rabbis Berg and Boteach, continues to teach a Torah for the Jews and a distinctiveness from the nations that requires high walls and no points of entry for the Goyim. Messianic Judaism in some ways amplifies the Jewish message of separation from the nations in order to present a more "Jewish" message to larger Judaism, and the One Law movement continues to (for the most part) preach that the church is apostate and (non-Messianic) "Rabbinic" Judaism is a dead end.

I teach a message in my own little group that attempts to balance these positions and challenge some of our assumptions, but I'm only one person. Not being a dictator or a cult leader, I do not demand that my congregation (which doesn't actually "belong" to me) adhere to my view of the "world according to James", which in any event, is undergoing a continuing metamorphosis.

In the end, I can only speak for my own particular attraction to Judaism, since I see my world as a world of one; unique and even idiosyncratic. In Messianic Jewish and One Law groups, most intermarrieds share their faith, and Messianic Judaism represents a resolution rather than a conflict to a "mixed marriage". What works as a solution for most Gentile "Messianics" only furthers the divisions in my own life, including my married life.

Nevertheless, God is still there, and regardless of how anyone reading these words chooses to understand my faith and my dilemma, He is the God of all and, even though I am the merest speck floating on a vast ocean of Creation, I am still a person who was created in His image. Hopefully, that actually means something.

Assuming that God still chooses to be aware of me and my humble life and prayers, I will continue to move forward along the path upon which I now stand. I often refer to Jesus (Yeshua) as my traveling companion, but while he seems to be close at my side during some parts of the journey, at other times, I can't see him at all. It doesn't mean that he's not there (I hope), but that my perception of him has been dimmed through some lack in my own vision.

But it's that same vision that sees both Christianity and Judaism as required elements in my world of faith. I can't imagine one without the other, which again, makes me a rather odd duck, even in Messianic circles. I've noticed a significant drop off in interest on my blogspot lately, which may well mean that my journey along the path has lost its appeal to the rest of the world. While attracted to Judaism for the sake of God and to Christianity for the sake of my Savior, I still don't belong in purely one world or the other. Yet I cannot stay isolated in my small One Law group because my evolving understanding of God doesn't permit such as concrete vision of Jews and Christians as a fully fused identity, and Messianic Judaism in its most Jewish form, struggles with the very presence of people like me. Beyond that, my continued involvement in MJ/OL only serves to further separate my wife and I along the dimension of faith and especially communal worship.

I've been reading (Messianic) Jewish and Christian blog posts lately (yes, I "lurk" too) and in observing the language, concepts, and values being expressed, I realize that in all of those worlds, I am a "stranger in a strange land". I know that as a person of faith, I am most "alive" when I teach and interact with my group, but everything else in the world around me demands that I walk away from them and follow a different course. Though there are ample examples in the Bible that convince me a person of faith must be part of a convocation of worshipers, in my case, I can see no alternative but to proceed forward alone.

Will God choose to continue His relationship with me if I deliberately set myself adrift at sea?

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. -Albert Einstein

Of all the stratagems, to know when to quit is the best. -Chinese Proverb

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark. The sky is clear as I journey, but I know a storm is coming.