Where is the House that God Built?

Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early
and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves. -Psalm 127:1-2

For I am already being poured out, and the time of my departure has arrived. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have guarded the belief. For the rest, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Master, the righteous Judge, shall give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all those loving His appearing." -2 Timothy 4:6-8

I'm quoting from two recent blog posts, Writing in the Dirt and The Maggid's Blog respectively. I've been feeling a little uninspired and unmotivated on this blog over the past few days, but the combination of these messages suggested a topic.

Actually, I also have to include Derek Leman's report on Hashivenu 2011, Day 3 to the mix, since it also discusses the topic of "community", particularly between the church and the Messianic Jewish synagogue.

The solution may be found in a number of forms. New congregations that are solely Jewish can form. Existing mixed groups could find ways to be on a trajectory toward Jewish congregations. My own suggestion, well-received, was that many existing MJ congregations think of themselves as Judeo-Christian congregations with a Jewish minyan within. Over time, we can work toward an independent life for the Jewish minyans within our congregations.

What does this have to do with me?

Right now, it seems like "not much". As I feel myself mentally and emotionally divorcing myself from anything that calls itself "Messianic Judaism", I keep trying to envision myself going back to "the church". Frankly, the idea still feels rather alien to me, in part because of the quote from Psalm 127. In my search for a "church home", how do I know which one has been "built by the Lord"? As I read Derek's report on the Hashivenu conference (and I recommend giving it a look...lots of interesting stuff), I find myself also feeling alien in relation to Messianic Judaism. I suppose the latter comes from not ever having attended a "Messianic Jewish" congregation as opposed to a One Law group that was primarily Gentile-driven. Given Derek's description of the conference over the past three days, I don't think I'd fit in there, either.

So what's left?

I don't know right now. Like any Pending Divorce, there's a part of the process where you feel neither connected nor disconnected, but are cycling somewhere in between the two states of being.

That brings me to the comment Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 4:6-8 as he was coming to the end of his life. I'm expected to "run the race" until the very end and I certainly want to, but as it stands now, I'll be a marathon runner somewhere out on the road in the middle of the night, away from anyone else, looking for sign posts.

My son complicated matters just a little while ago. I had lunch with him to discuss things that are going on in his life including matters of faith. Although both he and his wife are believers, they haven't ever attended a church together. They're currently living with my son's in-laws who also believe but don't attend a church.

Feeling my own sense of "disconnectedness", I asked him about going to a congregation and he suggested coming to mine.

Oh wow!

David's been to a Messianic (One Law) group before, so he knows more or less what to expect, but his wife will be taken by surprise, no doubt. Plus, I've never actually taught family members before, which I can only imagine is a unique experience. How can I tell him that I'm getting ready to leave soon? How can I tell him that as of this summer, I will be as much without a congregation as he and his family are now?

My son did say a funny thing, though. He said that when a person feels comfortable where they're at in their church or congregation, that's when they need to do something to make themselves uncomfortable. In other words, faith isn't supposed to be an easy going process.

I can relate to that very well. Now, all I need to know is where to find the house that the Lord built. I'm sure it must be around here...

...somewhere.

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark, ignoring the light of the world. Look for the lamp who lights your path or you may become lost in the dark forever.

"A Jew never gives up. We're here to bring Mashiach, we will settle for nothing less." -Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh