Unintended Goodness

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. -Matthew 7:9-12

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. -James 4:3

Sometimes it happens that you set out to do something with the best of intentions - and you end up with what appears the opposite.

Know with absolute certainty - because this is a tradition of our sages - that if your true intent is good, then from it only good can emerge.

Perhaps not the good you intended - or care for - but good nevertheless.

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
from "Detoured Good"
Chabad.org

I read Rabbi Freeman's words yesterday, which I quoted above, and thought about my own situation. I've recently commented on both Judah Himango's and Derek Leman's blogs regarding my intention to formally leave the world of "Messianic" worship, and specifically the "One Law" branch of this movement. I no longer believe that God intends for Gentiles and Jews to live absolutely identical lifestyles, with Christians performing all of the mitzvot in every detail, precisely like their Jewish brothers and sisters, thus obliterating any covenant difference between Jew and Christian.

My intent, among other things, is to do good. My purpose, or at least one of them, is to honor the chosen people of God (not that we all can't be chosen in our own ways); the Children of Israel. My motivation is not just Jews in general but my Jewish wife in specific. She has been very patient with me, but I can only imagine how she sees me, her Christian husband, when I go to worship with my congregation on Shabbat, knowing that I will be praying with a tallit, using a siddur, and reciting the Shema.

My intention is to do good in the action of leaving my congregation, but Rabbi Freeman makes me wonder. If my intention is good, can only truly good things result? After all, we have a common saying that goes, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" (thought to have originated with Saint Bernard of Clairvaux who wrote, "L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs" or "hell is full of good wishes and desires").

Could bad things come from good intent? They probably do all of the time, but if Rabbi Freeman and the Lubavitcher Rebbe are right, I can hope for a good, but not necessarily expected outcome from my intentions and actions. I sometimes think of prayer that way. I'd like to think that my intentions in prayer are always good ,but as James (Jacob), the brother of the Master, says, I can mess that one up, too.

However Jesus (Yeshua) also seems to say something we find echoed in Rabbi Freeman's teaching. Even though we are evil, we know how to give good gifts. If prayer is like an incense offering; a gift to God (Psalm 141:2, Revelation 5:8, Revelation 8:4), then maybe even my attempt to extend myself outside of my own skin and my own thoughts and to connect, however tenuously, with God, will yield something of His goodness, even though I can't anticipate the exact result of my "offering".

I haven't tendered my resignation to my congregation yet, but the time is coming all too soon. We are small and our resources are limited. I'm a significant resource for my community, not only as a teacher, but as a blog writer, and the person who maintains our website. In soothing my conscience and attempting to reconcile the faith portion of my relationship with my wife, what do I do to the congregation?

Another saying we have is "He who hesitates is lost". I can't simply do nothing, continue on with the status quo, and hope for the best. I've been praying and waiting for an answer to this puzzle for almost two years and I'm still waiting. While God can provide miracles completely outside of human actions, I know we aren't supposed to depend on God doing so. With all this going on, what does God want and what will He do?

Today, my email quote from Rabbi Freeman contained the following:

Every moment,
every human activity
is an opportunity to connect with the Infinite.

Every act can be an uplifting of the soul.

It is only your will that may stand in the way.

But as soon as you wish,
you are connected.

In seeking God and His will, I'm like a blind man trying to find a sunny patch of ground on which to stand. The weather is partly cloudy, and I only have a feeble sense of warm or cold to tell me if I've reached my goal. Rabbi Freeman says that any time I truly wish to be connected to God, I am, but like that blind man, I can't always tell if I'm already standing in the light of day. Like a man driving his car on a lonely stretch of freeway in the middle of the desert at night, I can only see as far as my headlights can pierce the darkness. In order to reach my destination, I must continue driving through the vast obsidian wastes and hope for the dawn.

A rebuke impresses a discerning person more than a hundred lashes a fool. -Proverbs 17:10

Searching for Easter Morning

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. -John 3:16-18

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father - Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. -1 John 2:1-2

By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain. For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures... -1 Corinthians 15:2-4

Sounds like pretty good news, doesn't it? Christ died for our sins. He paid the price for our faults and failures before God so we wouldn't have to. All we have to do is accept the free gift of Jesus Christ, believe, and we will be saved. We are forgiven.

Aren't we?

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. -Romans 8:1-2

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. -1 John 1:9

So we do that. God forgives our sins. Right? Good news.

What about people? Do they forgive us? Not always.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. -Romans 12:17-18

To me, this implies, if not outright states, that I can try to live at peace with others but that doesn't mean others will want to live at peace with me.

Sometimes, I don't blame them.

I'm not a perfect person, far from it, actually. I guess I'm safe in saying that no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes, but it doesn't make my mistakes any easier to live with. I've hurt people. I've let people down. I've tried to make those things right again, as best I can, anyway.

That isn't always enough.

What happens when you've wronged a friend, tried to make it right and they don't forgive you? What happens if you've wronged your child or your spouse, tried to make it right, and they don't forgive you? Sometimes, you can only do so much to try and fix the past. Some people say to let the past be past, let it go, and move on, trying to be a better person today than you were yesterday.

Not everyone "forgives and forgets".

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. -Matthew 6:12

This is part of what we call "the Lord's Prayer" and the Master was instructing his disciples how to pray to God. He was also illustrating here that there is a relationship between our forgiving others and how (or if) we receive God's forgiveness.

Maybe that's the key. Why should we expect God to forgive us of our sins if we don't forgive others when they wrong us? But does that mean God doesn't forgive us if human beings don't forgive us? If even one, single person won't forgive us for how we've wronged them, even when we've tried to make it right, to turn from our sins, and make amends, does that mean God will refuse to forgive us too?

I doubt it. Otherwise, the forgiveness of our sins in front of the Eternal God would be dependent on the emotions and even the whims of a human beings and some of them (us) aren't very forgiving.

But there is something else to consider.

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. -Leviticus 19:18

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these. -Mark 12:31

We should love our neighbor as we love ourselves? Love ourselves? That's quite an assumption. Here's another one:

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church... -Ephesians 5:28-29

Loving yourself. Loving your own body. I guess Jesus and Paul never heard of low self-esteem and depression. There is a considerable amount of information in the Bible about forgiving others and asking for forgiveness when we've done wrong, but as far as I can tell, there isn't an instruction regarding forgiving yourself. That brings up an interesting question.

Based on the Lord's Prayer and God's forgiveness being contingent upon our forgiving others, if we don't forgive ourselves, does God forgive us? If I don't or can't forgive myself, will God refuse to forgive me?

It would be rather ironic, especially in light of the hope engendered by the week of Unleavened bread as celebrated by Jews, and the joy generated by this Easter Sunday as commemorated by Christians, to realize that the plan of God to provide for the forgiveness of the world could be stymied by a person's inability to forgive himself. But even if by some miracle God forgives you anyway, does it matter if the people you love can't or won't do the same? Does it matter if you can't forgive yourself?

I respond to Easter pretty much the way I respond to Christmas. Both are Christian holidays where the assumption is you are supposed to feel happy and joyous, no matter what. In fact, if you don't feel happy and joyous on Christmas and Easter for any reason, there's something wrong with you. I really don't like it when holidays and human expectations impose their required emotional or affective states on me.

By the way, in looking up the various scriptures I wanted to reference for this blog post, I came across a discussion board thread at All About GOD called How do i know if i am really forgiven when i ask for it. The original poster never came back after making his initial query, but there were numerous answers provided. Many of the responses he got I'd consider somewhat empty platitudes and a few were just plain guilt trips, but one poster named Shari Burgess gave what I thought was a very honest answer:

I am sorry I don't have that answer for you but I will tell you that a lot of the forgiveness you seek starts within you. I don't know it seems that sometimes we are just programmed to continue with self hate self doubt not realizing that this is the trick of the "enemy" he wants you to be confused and not feel that you have been forgiven. Anything or anyone that makes you feel guilty or sad or hurt is not of God. Yes God does allow us to have guilt when we have done wrong but his word says that he forgives you and what ever you have done in the past is not a part of his memory. We are our own worst critics I know I suffer with the same problem I cling to all the hurt and the wrong I've done but we got to dig deeper into ourselves and understand if we were that bad we would not have the unique blessing to rise each and every day honor God in our actions and live to see another day.

Telling a depressed or upset person that Jesus makes life all sunshine and lollipops isn't helpful and usually communicates to the person who is struggling that you haven't the faintest idea what it's like to wrestle with real-life problems, let alone with faith. I don't know the answer to the conundrum but I suspect Shari is on the right track. However, I do know that it hurts when you think a wound is healing and it gets ripped open again.

This is Easter morning and the Christian and Messianic blogosphere abounds with joyous messages of resurrection, salvation, and hope. Never being one to fit in with the crowd, this is what I bring to the table for Sunday breakfast. The sun has risen and with it, the Son of God. Yet the road before me is still shrouded in darkness. I continue on my journey and await the dawn.

The road is long and I continue to travel in the dark.

The Desert

In each one of us there is an Egypt and a Pharaoh and a Moses and Freedom in a Promised Land. And every point in time is an opportunity for another Exodus.

Egypt is a place that chains you to who you are, constraining you from growth and change. And Pharaoh is that voice inside that mocks your gambit to escape, saying, "How could you attempt being today something you were not yesterday? Aren't you good enough just as you are? Don't you know who you are?"

Moses is the liberator, the infinite force deep within, an impetuous and all-powerful drive to break out from any bondage, to always transcend, to connect with that which has no bounds.

But Freedom and the Promised Land are not static elements that lie in wait. They are your own achievements which you may create at any moment, in any thing that you do, simply by breaking free from whoever you were the day before.

Last Passover you may not have yet begun to light a candle. Or some other mitzvah still waits for you to fulfill its full potential. This year, defy Pharaoh and light up your world. With unbounded light.

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
The Inside Story on Passover
Chabad.org

Sounds easy, doesn't it? Simply objectify your achievements and shortcomings. Make the things that keep you in chains "Egypt" and the voice that says you're no good "Pharaoh". It sounds like the John who wrote Revelation was using the same basic material when he wrote the following:

The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. -Revelation 12:9

The phrase, "who leads the whole world astray" is sometimes translated as "the accuser of the brethren". The idea is that your doubts, insecurities, and feelings of inadequacy don't actually come from you, but from an external, supernatural force or entity we refer to as Satan (Hebrew: HaSatan = "the Adversary" in English). And yet, that voice often comes from those who are closest to you, including your family and friends...and especially from yourself.

Rabbi Freeman links slavery in Egypt and the "accusing" voice of Pharaoh to the liberator Moses and freedom in the Promised Land. What his metaphor lacks is this:

The LORD replied, "I have forgiven them, as you asked. Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the LORD fills the whole earth, not one of those who saw my glory and the signs I performed in Egypt and in the wilderness but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times— not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their ancestors. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it. But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it. Since the Amalekites and the Canaanites are living in the valleys, turn back tomorrow and set out toward the desert along the route to the Red Sea." -Numbers 14:20-25

Between freedom from slavery in Egypt and entry into the rest of the Promised Land is the desert. The desert is the result of fear, insecurity, lack of confidence, and lack of faith. God can and has sent a deliverer to all mankind, but although we are taught that salvation is a free gift, that doesn't mean it's effortless for us to accept that gift, open it, and then live out the contents. Accepting God and becoming a disciple of the Master isn't "as easy as rolling off the log". There can be many barriers and setbacks on the trail between "Egypt" and "Israel".

Yesterday, I wrote a blog about how we can be sitting on the keys to our own chains, and it sounds fairly easy to just get up, pick up the keys, and unlock the door to our prison. As Rabbi Freeman points out in today's Daily Dose of Torah, there is a metaphorical and spiritual connection between the Passover story and how we conduct our lives at any given point in time. Passover is a reminder of how much we have to gain and how much we have to lose, depending on which decisions we make each day. Freeman likens our achievements to mitzvot (commandments or deeds of kindness) but also to "lighting up our world" with "unbounded light".

Somewhere between the infinite darkness of a slave's life in "Egypt" and the "unbounded light" in the Land of "Israel" lies the shadowlands of the desert. We can be neither here nor there, neither a slave nor truly free. We can be in a state where we have escaped the darkness but still cannot walk into the light. Either something inside of us or something about our circumstances keeps us on the edge, as if staring into the abyss or waiting at the threshold of some gate into the unknown realms.

An entire generation was forgiven of their sins, yet died in the desert, one by one, dropping in their tracks, collapsing in the sand, because of their failure. Our existence, between birth and death, contains decisions, victories, achievements, and defeats. We succeed or we fail. We light the candle, or watch it burn out. Even on the eve of Passover, a time when there should be hope in our hearts, something can come along to smother that hope like suffocating a child in a crib. Sometimes, we stand at the edge of hope, with an infinite sky before us, and still we cannot breathe.

What do you do when you are at a wedding reception where you expect to find God and instead, the bride and groom have vanished, the room is dark, and the hall is empty?

Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come.

“Then he sent some more servants and said, ‘Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.’

“But they paid no attention and went off—one to his field, another to his business. The rest seized his servants, mistreated them and killed them. The king was enraged. He sent his army and destroyed those murderers and burned their city.

“Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding banquet is ready, but those I invited did not deserve to come. So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’ So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, the bad as well as the good, and the wedding hall was filled with guests.

“But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. He asked, ‘How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?’ The man was speechless.

“Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

“For many are invited, but few are chosen.” -Matthew 22:1-14

Passover is not only a time when we discover how far we've come, but how woefully far we have yet to go.

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark.

Proceeding Hopefully

I was having lunch with a guy who was telling me about a struggle he had been having for a while. He said he knew he was a sinner and that he was fallen and that he would keep committing this one sin, and he knew he was going to keep committing this one sins because he was a sinner and his nature was evil and there was nothing he could do about it because of what a sinner he was...

Do I have to go on?

I was so depressed I wanted to bang my head on the table. His question was basically, why do we struggle like this?
Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith
by Rob Bell

If we have no joy in our hearts, we deny the love of God. We should not say, "Our heart is a dwelling place of lust, jealousy, anger; there is no hope for us." Let us realize that we have another guest in us who desires to give us life and joy, notwithstanding our sin. Even if we are disturbed by worldly thoughts during our most intimate converse with God, we should not lose courage and joy.
Love and the Messianic Age
by Paul Philip Levertoff

Jacob wrestled with an angel (Genesis 32:22-32) and we wrestle with what it means, especially to us. We wrestle with our sin and we wonder if God even hears us sometimes. We behave as if we're our own worst enemy and yet we're commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:31, Leviticus 19:18).

Isn't that crazy?

Probably not.

Yesterday, I talked about struggling between despair and joy, experiencing disturbing emotions in the immediate situation and striving to find my joy in God as an enduring state. Where do we find this? How do we do this?

I don't know. It's not easy.

I sometimes get really tired of moral or religious platitudes that we hear from religious leaders who are preaching or writing books, saying that we just need to do "this" in order to achieve "that". It's as if they don't live in the same universe as the rest of us. It's as if they don't have real, personal lives like the rest of us. What the heck are they talking about?

Of course these people have the same struggles as everyone else. Being a Pastor or a Rabbi or a whatever doesn't suddenly mean that you aren't human anymore, or you're not vulnerable to the same human struggles as everyone around you. It sometimes means that religious leaders try and pretend they're not human because they think their "flock" needs a superhuman shepherd.

It's one thing to "suck it up" and put your own concerns to one side when someone else needs a shoulder to cry on, but it's another thing entirely to project your self-expectation of being "perfect" onto the people around you, especially the people who depend on your compassion.

It's OK to want to bang your head on a table sometimes. It's OK if, during prayer, some rotten, guilty little thought creeps in between you and God. That doesn't mean you have to cave in to either temptation, and it doesn't mean you're a horrible person or a failure. However, if we give in to despair and we give up on ourselves, we're also giving up on God.

He's convinced he is a sinner, he's convinced he is going to sin, he has no hope against sin, he believes his basic nature is sin, and then he wonders why he keeps sinning.

Rob Bell pretty much nails it as far as his lunch companion is concerned, and he maps out the danger Levertoff has warned us against (see the quote at the top of the page). While Jesus chided his disciples for their lack of faith, in fact, they had faith. They struggled with faith. They really struggled with faith when their Master was executed by the Romans, and their faith was restored when Jesus was resurrected. Their faith was strengthened and they were empowered when the Spirit came to them on the Festival of Shavuot (Pentecost). They kept their faith. They kept their hope. They were not abandoned. They were sometimes afraid, but they were never alone.

It's not a crime to struggle with faith. It's not a sin to struggle with God. The only real failure you'll face is if you give up on Him...and on you.

Sometimes we get tired and it's tough to get up and walk after a fall.Take it slow. Put your weight on one foot and then the other. Stand up. Then take the first step...

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark.

Hope is Burning Like a Candle

I sit before my only candle, 
like a pilgrim sits beside the way
Now this journey appears before my candle
As a song that's growing fainter, the harder I play
That I fear before I end, will fade away
I guess I'll get there, but I wouldn't say for sure

from Song for Adam
Jackson Browne

I dusted off a very old CD, Jackson Browne's debut album from 1972 called Saturate Before Using which contains a number of "soulful" songs from my youth. Listening to tunes such as "Song for Adam", "Doctor My Eyes", and "Looking Into You" during my commute into work, brought back memories from many decades ago. Some of those songs also function as a counterpoint to my journey of faith and the general state of "religion" in the world around me.

I struggle with some of the undercurrents I see in Christianity as it's currently expressed. I follow a number of Christian Pastors and other believers on twitter and even among professional clergy, the narrow focus of the faith I find is alarming. It seems like "the end times" is just consuming Christianity, fixing the gaze and attention of the faithful forward into a future when Jesus will come, faithful Christians will be raptured, and everything will be hunky dory. Here's a couple of examples:

They laughed at Noah #Tworship #endtimes

Then they will deliver u 2 tribulation, & will kill u, & u will b hated by all nations because of My name. Matt 24:9 #Tworship #endtimes

I've already addressed my "issues" with focusing on an "X-Files-like" fantasy of the future in a recent blog as well as trying to promote being an answer to prayer in the current age. Frankly, if we keep our hearts and spirits prepared and keep our actions focused on serving God and helping others, the "end times" will take care of itself. Are we to defer caring about others for the sake of stroking our own egos and our personal salvation?

Oh people, look around you
The signs are everywhere
You've left it for somebody other than you
To be the one to care
You're lost inside your houses
There's no time to find you now
Your walls are burning and your towers are turning
I'm going to leave you here
and try to get down to the sea somehow

from Rock Me On the Water
Jackson Browne

What are we doing? Either we ignore the needs of people in the present and focus on the future, or we continually defend our right to bad mouth people we disagree with while defending our right to do so. More than that, when people complain to us about our casual attitude toward others, we accuse them of being mean spirited.

When did the community of faith become so distorted?

To answer my own question, I think we always have been. God's people have a long history of struggling to find our focus and then being able to keep it. Exodus 32 chronicles the "sin of the Golden Calf", which we read about and studied last week, but that's only one small sample of how those of us who have answered God's call to faithfulness allow our humanity to get in the way of His Holiness.

Where is the joy we are to have in serving God and loving our neighbor? Where is the pleasure we find in the pages of the Bible? Why aren't we listening to those who are wise?

"What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow: this is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn" -Shab. 31a

When was the last time you considered Hillel's words before blasting out a blog post or comment? Do we ever seek God and His will anymore, or do we just pander to our own desires and impulses? How does this make us any different than the world around us? Why should anyone care about our "witness" when we're no different than people who have no faith?

Well I looked into the sky for my anthem
And the words and the music came through
But words and music can never touch the beauty that I've seen
Looking into you
and that's true

from Looking Into You
Jackson Browne

If we can't find beauty in our own walk of faith, how can we expect anyone else to?

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. -Aesop

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark. The wind is coming up and threatening to put out the candle.

Where is the House that God Built?

Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early
and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves. -Psalm 127:1-2

For I am already being poured out, and the time of my departure has arrived. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have guarded the belief. For the rest, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Master, the righteous Judge, shall give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all those loving His appearing." -2 Timothy 4:6-8

I'm quoting from two recent blog posts, Writing in the Dirt and The Maggid's Blog respectively. I've been feeling a little uninspired and unmotivated on this blog over the past few days, but the combination of these messages suggested a topic.

Actually, I also have to include Derek Leman's report on Hashivenu 2011, Day 3 to the mix, since it also discusses the topic of "community", particularly between the church and the Messianic Jewish synagogue.

The solution may be found in a number of forms. New congregations that are solely Jewish can form. Existing mixed groups could find ways to be on a trajectory toward Jewish congregations. My own suggestion, well-received, was that many existing MJ congregations think of themselves as Judeo-Christian congregations with a Jewish minyan within. Over time, we can work toward an independent life for the Jewish minyans within our congregations.

What does this have to do with me?

Right now, it seems like "not much". As I feel myself mentally and emotionally divorcing myself from anything that calls itself "Messianic Judaism", I keep trying to envision myself going back to "the church". Frankly, the idea still feels rather alien to me, in part because of the quote from Psalm 127. In my search for a "church home", how do I know which one has been "built by the Lord"? As I read Derek's report on the Hashivenu conference (and I recommend giving it a look...lots of interesting stuff), I find myself also feeling alien in relation to Messianic Judaism. I suppose the latter comes from not ever having attended a "Messianic Jewish" congregation as opposed to a One Law group that was primarily Gentile-driven. Given Derek's description of the conference over the past three days, I don't think I'd fit in there, either.

So what's left?

I don't know right now. Like any Pending Divorce, there's a part of the process where you feel neither connected nor disconnected, but are cycling somewhere in between the two states of being.

That brings me to the comment Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 4:6-8 as he was coming to the end of his life. I'm expected to "run the race" until the very end and I certainly want to, but as it stands now, I'll be a marathon runner somewhere out on the road in the middle of the night, away from anyone else, looking for sign posts.

My son complicated matters just a little while ago. I had lunch with him to discuss things that are going on in his life including matters of faith. Although both he and his wife are believers, they haven't ever attended a church together. They're currently living with my son's in-laws who also believe but don't attend a church.

Feeling my own sense of "disconnectedness", I asked him about going to a congregation and he suggested coming to mine.

Oh wow!

David's been to a Messianic (One Law) group before, so he knows more or less what to expect, but his wife will be taken by surprise, no doubt. Plus, I've never actually taught family members before, which I can only imagine is a unique experience. How can I tell him that I'm getting ready to leave soon? How can I tell him that as of this summer, I will be as much without a congregation as he and his family are now?

My son did say a funny thing, though. He said that when a person feels comfortable where they're at in their church or congregation, that's when they need to do something to make themselves uncomfortable. In other words, faith isn't supposed to be an easy going process.

I can relate to that very well. Now, all I need to know is where to find the house that the Lord built. I'm sure it must be around here...

...somewhere.

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark, ignoring the light of the world. Look for the lamp who lights your path or you may become lost in the dark forever.

"A Jew never gives up. We're here to bring Mashiach, we will settle for nothing less." -Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh

The Presence of Faith

In Your presence, thats where I am strong
In Your presence O the Lord my God
In your presence that's where I belong
Seeking Your face
Touching Your grace
In the cleft of the rock
In your presence O God.

Words and Music by Lynn DeShazo
Performed by Paul Wilbur
1995 Integrity's Hosanna! Music

When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.” Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?”

The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”

When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. -Matthew 8:5-10

Back to Basics Tour, Part 2

I'm trying to find some of those things in the Bible that everyone in the Messianic and Christian communities have in common without stepping on toes and tails. Issues of defensiveness and divisiveness often characterize the larger "Messianic movement", especially in the eyes of the greater body of Christian believers, and these arguments tend to discredit our chosen method of worship, even discrediting the Jews in Messianic Judaism. What do we have in common with our Christian brothers and sisters? How can we all say together that we are disciples of the Messiah?

I ask that question, though technically a Christian, as one who is off, slightly to one side, since my perspective on many matters favors Israel and Jewish worship styles rather than what you would find in a traditional church. As a Christian man married to a Jewish woman who keeps a Jewish home, my perspective and orientation tends to be more "Jewish". But see, even now, I can easily find ways in which the different members of the body of believers are different and apart.

But how are we together?

I just quoted the words of the Master as recorded in Matthew 8:5-10 and he said something amazing. He recognized the faith of a Roman centurion, a non-Jew, and praised the depth of his faith. The Jewish Messiah even held up this Goy's faith as an example to his Jewish disciples and followers. Can the Messiah of the Jews acknowledge the faith of a Gentile as an authentic faith?

I ask that last question somewhat tongue-in-cheek, because Yeshua's (Jesus's) words are plain. Jewish faith isn't of superior quality or better accepted by God than Gentile faith. We can agree that the Jews are God's "treasured, splendorous people" and nothing removes their status before Him, yet we who are not Jewish are not unloved by God. Paul said "neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor freeman, neither male nor female; for in union with the Messiah, you are seed of Abraham and heirs according to the promise." (Galatians 3:28-29 CJB) Can we agree on that, or am I speaking in vain?

In Romans 11, Paul describes faith as the "glue" that attaches both the natural Jewish branches and the alien Goyim branches to a common root. Even an alien branch can be grafted in to the source by faith and even a natural branch can be knocked off because of lack of faith. It's the same glue.

It's easy to forget that we all have this in common, each and every one of us who acknowledge Yeshua as Messiah, Lord, and Master. Regardless of how we may view each other, there is only one "type" of faith that we have accessible to each of us. How we express faith and worship may vary between Jew and Christian, between one congregation and the next, between one tradition and the next, but the ineffable essence and quality of faith is the same. I pray no one sees this as incorrect.

There is also a need for persistence and endurance of faith as recorded in the following parable:

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” -Luke 18:1-8

The "birth pangs" of the re-association between Jewish Messianics and Gentile Christians is painful indeed and we're just seeing the start of it. I don't believe that God intends for our two communities, which are "united" by a single shepherd, to remain totally estranged and isolated forever, and we are someday to have fellowship in Him. Yet, looking at the entire continuum containing the various congregations of the Messiah, it would be easy to lose faith. Certainly mine has been significantly dampered in recent weeks and months, and I can see how the "Son of Man" can ask "will he find faith?"

There's so much confusion between who we are, what we do, what "Torah" to obey between Jews and Christians, and issues of faith. It's easy to confuse or substitute form for substance. Paul wrote about this:

..even so, we have come to realize that a person is not declared righteous on the ground of his observance of Torah commands, but through the Messiah Yeshua's trusting faithfulness. Therefore, we too have put our trust in Messiah Yeshua and become faithful to him, in order that we might be declared righteous on the ground of the Messiah's trusting faithfulness and not on the ground of our observance of Torah commands. For on the ground of observance of Torah commands, no one will be declared righteous. -Galatians 2:16 CJB

We need to define, not just what separates us, but what binds us. If we can't do that, we have no hope. We might as well continue to operate in two separate camps, being distinctive, and unique, and perserving our identities at the cost of the desires of the Messiah to also make the Gentiles into disciples (Matthew 28:18-20). We have all been (and I believe this means all of us, not just Jews and not just Gentiles) commanded to love one another as the Master's disciples (John 13:34-35) and it's by this love that the rest of the world will know we belong to Yeshua.

This is a command we don't obey very well. However, love is even more important than faith in the Messianic realm:

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. -1 Corinthians 13:8-13

As Paul says, we don't see very clearly yet. That's probably why all the different denominations and factions in Christianity and the Messianic movement seem so confused. When Messiah comes, much more will be revealed, including how we have succeeded and how we have failed in matters of love and faith. I can only hope and pray that we all consider these words and question our own "self-righteousness" in how we treat our fellow disciples, no matter how different they may be from us.

There's a quote uttered by actor Harrison Ford in the film Air Force One (1997):

Peace isn't merely the absence of conflict, but the presence of justice.

Adapting the quote, I'd like to believe that righteousness isn't just the absence of sin, but the presence of faith. We can only be persistent in our faith and love if we are attached to the Master. In his own words, apart from me, you can do nothing (John 15:5).

In His Presence, we are strong, and we are the body of the Messiah...all of us.

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark, ignoring the light of the world. Look for the lamp who lights your path or you may become lost in the dark forever.

"A Jew never gives up. We're here to bring Mashiach, we will settle for nothing less." -Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh

Gears, Wires, and Batteries

I have seen people who, shaking their faith at one level, throw out everything in a few years' time.

My brother is an example who did this and ended up denying Yeshua. My cousin is an example of a person who did this and ended up an atheist. A friend of mine years back did this, and rejected Yeshua, became a Jew, then went finally went atheist.

James, I know this sounds dumb and maybe even controlling (gosh, I hate religious control) but I am fearful you will reject Yeshua in a few years time.

I have yet to witness someone who, cutting themselves off from their religious community, remains faithful to their convictions.

Judah Gabriel Himango's comments on
A Far, Far Better Thing

You'll probably want to read that blog post plus Sacred before continuing on here, just to keep the context.

I've received a number of well wishes and comments of concern similar to Judah's over the past day or so. When I said I'd be leaving the Messianic movement, it was almost like I said I have an incurable and fatal disease. Some people are treating me as if I'm dying.

Don't worry, I'm still around and I'm going to still be around. Now that I've said that, you're probably worried (just kidding).

After the first time I described what I'm doing as stripping my religious assumptions down to their "gears, wires, and batteries", I became really attached to the metaphor. If you think about it, once you take the body, moulding, and other stuff off a machine that, strictly speaking, doesn't contribute to the device actually running, you are at the mechanism's most basic level. It's all laid bare and you can see how it "ticks".

There are a variety of definitions of the word "deconstruct", but wiktionary.org defines it as (often metaphorical) to break something down into its component parts. Since I'm often metaphorical, the definition seems to fit what I'm doing right now. I'm deconstructing my understanding of who I am in God and how I should express that identity.

Don't worry, though. I also plan on reconstructing myself again, hopefully into a more viable and valuable believer in Yeshua.

Another fitting metaphor is this:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. -1 Peter 1:6-9

Of course, Peter was making a commentary on the Prophet Malachi:

But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the LORD, as in days of old and as in previous years. -Malachi 3:2-4

The Bible has a number of other "refiner's fire" metaphors but they all convey the same basic message: difficulties and trials don't exist to make you suffer, but to burn away the imperfections that prevent you from becoming a more "pure" product. That's how I'm choosing to understand the current part of my journey in faith (and I wrote something about fire and silver last summer).

Yes, I'm concerned about the lack of community I'll face once I leave my current congregation, but I feel as if I've hit an impasse where I am, doing the same thing over and over without the ability to expand and refine my environment. I can't just demand that the people around me change or tolerate my changes simply for my sake, yet I don't believe I should stop my spiritual development or explorations, either.

While the path ahead seems filled with booby traps and land mines, it's also presenting me with something fresh and new. There's a certain freedom in having the "open road" before me. I have the same anticipation as I would if I were about to get in my car and head out on the freeway to someplace I've never been to before but always wanted to visit. The irony is I don't know exactly where the road will take me.

In Genesis 12:1, God said to Abram, "Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you". My journey hardly has that sort of scope or promise attached to it, but I believe it doesn't have the same risks or responsibilities, either. I'm no Abraham, but I have to believe that God has a plan for my life, too.

Sometime between now and May, June, or July, I expect something to happen to add substance and form to my stripped down chassis. When I find out what that is, I'll be sure to let you know.

"A Jew never gives up. We're here to bring Mashiach, we will settle for nothing less." -Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh

When I quote Rabbi Ginsburgh's statement, I'm not saying I'm a Jew. I am saying that we are all here to prepare the world for the coming of the Mashiach. In order to do that, we have to keep striving to be better than we are right now. We have to keep building ourselves up and building each other up. Let's make sure that the desires of God are our highest focus.

Blessings.

The Roman Centurion Had Faith

When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.” Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?”

The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”

When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment.

-Matthew 8:5-13

After some of the conversations I've had on the web and the struggle of trying to make binding connections with other people and communities who believe in Yeshua (Jesus) as the Jewish Messiah, I have to take time out from the process and remind myself why any of this is important. As we see in the scripture from Matthew, for a brief moment in time, the Jewish Messiah and a Roman Centurion, two very different and unalike people, connected through the medium of faith. In fact, Yeshua holds up the Roman Centurion to his own Israeli people, as an example of faith:

When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith..."

That's really an astonishing statement if you think about it. The Roman Centurion was a person who had faith but who had no reason to have such a faith in Yeshua or in the God of Abraham. And yet he did. Even the Messiah himself was "amazed" at the Centurion's faith, it was so unlikely and uncommon.

I say all this because a common Jewish and Christian faith in the Jewish Messiah and in the God of Abraham seems in short supply. While we struggle over our distinctiveness, we ignore the faith and love which is supposed to bind us. When Paul wrote neither Jew nor Gentile in Galatians 3:28 he wasn't obliterating the distinctions between Jews and non-Jews, but rather illustrating that we all have standing before the Messiah, despite our differences.

If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise. -Galatians 3:29

If we claim to belong to the Messiah, along with all the differences and distinctions we have as individuals and that define us as Jews and Gentiles, we (according to Paul, anyway) are all "Abraham's seed and heirs according to the promise". In other words, Jews and Gentiles who have faith in Yeshua as the Messiah have something in common. You don't always see that in our conversations. You more often see the opposite.

I spend some time alone in the building where my congregation meets for Shabbat services in the morning before anyone else arrives. It's a good time to read and pray, if only for a few minutes. This morning I was wondering, especially after this past week's conversations around Messianic Judaism, "Judaically-aware" congregations, and Bilateral Ecclesiology, if we are experiencing faith. I've been wondering if I've been experiencing faith lately. I know that I've let these conversations divert me from something much simpler and essential. If you, as a Jew, wear tzitzit, and I as a Gentile do not, am I less a person in God's Kingdom and is my faith made of an inferior material?

The Bible says "no", but in all these conversations, I sometimes feel otherwise. No one has really said it as such but what we do talk about with such zeal seems to overshadow what our faith is supposed to really be expressing. I sometimes forget the fact that, according to Yeshua's own words, "...many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven." I suppose that will include me, though I suppose it wouldn't be so terrible if it didn't. Maybe people like me are only the catalyst or conduit for the Jewish people to be able to sit down with the patriarchs. I sometimes imagine myself in those days, after having arranged "the party", backing off and just watching it from a distance.

Yet if Peter could witness Gentiles receive the Holy Spirit and enter "the community of saints", why can't the same thing happen today?

While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit came on all who heard the message. The circumcised (Jewish) believers who had come with Peter were astonished that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on Gentiles. For they heard them speaking in tongues and praising God.

Then Peter said, “Surely no one can stand in the way of their being baptized with water. They have received the Holy Spirit just as we have.” So he ordered that they be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they asked Peter to stay with them for a few days. -Acts 10:44-48

I recently purchased The Concise Book of Mitzvoth compiled by The Chafetz Chayim. In the Preface of the book, he writes that our (well, he's speaking to a Jewish audience, actually) intent is vital if people are to obey God. It's not enough to perform the actions, people must obey God with the express intent of doing so. If not, the actions, in and of themselves, do not "count" as far as performing the mitzvoth and must be performed again.

We discuss and debate the roles of Jews and Gentiles in the "Messianic movement", Christianity, or whatever label you want to hang on people who have faith in Yeshua. But if we focus on the mechanics and the minutiae and yet lack the proper love and intent to obey God and to treat each other with the same love as God has for each of us, what do we really accomplish?

Justin recently wrote the following in his blog:

My friends, all of these books, papers, blogs and lectures that we have done will one day disappear; before they do, are you sure that your faith in Him is solid? Are you standing on the Rock, or what someone else has represented as the rock? He is the Good News! Be not afraid, all who call upon the Name of the Living God will be saved! Omein.

After a two week hiatus from my congregation and particularly after this

past week which, in addition to some rather pointed Internet conversations, contained a number of personal trials and challenges, I was a little nervous facing my group again as a teacher. I'm supposed to be a "leader" of faith, but often I find the greatest faith, not in the intellectual and educated conversations that are put forth on the web, but in a kind and loving person's prayers for sick children and lost souls. Of course, it's not just faith that is an essential ingredient:

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. -1 Corinthians 13:1-3

The Roman Centurion had faith, but how much faith do we have? Paul writes that even beyond faith and hope, love is the greatest, but do we love?

What Did Jesus Change: Access

One of, if not the most important change that came about for everyone through Yeshua is the access the believer now has to YHVH in the set-apart place.

While the tabernacle was in the wilderness, and the very Presence of YHVH filled the small space, who was allowed to walk in and talk to YHVH directly?

There were only two men who could enter in during that time. The rest of Israel, not to mention the "Ger", would do so only if they wanted to die immediately.

Yeshua most definitely changed that relationship for everyone regardless of where they come from, Jew or non-Jew.

I think this is quite significant in relation to the practices of different people groups. It is certainly not a popular position, but it seems clear from the new covenant writings that when Messiah opened the Way for all to come to YHVH and receive life, He did so in the same way for all, regardless of where they came from. This is where the earthly distinctions are removed and covenant of salvation takes over.

-Efrayim

You bring up a good point that inspires a few thoughts within me this morning. We know that the Tabernacle in the desert was basically a scale model of God's Heavenly Court. God provided Moses with the "blueprint" of everything he was supposed to build so that, when completed, the Divine Presence would descend and occupy the Mishkan, and God would once again live among His people.

I imagine that Aaron and his sons too represented those beings who served God as priests in the Heavenly Court. We know from the book of Hebrews that Yeshua himself is now the High Priest in Heaven, acting as mediator between man and God.

What you seem to be saying is that, prior to Yeshua assuming the role as High Priest for the world, the Jewish people only had access to God through the sacrifices and the priesthood in the Tabernacle and later in Solomon's and then Herod's Temples. We also know that, at Yeshua's death, the veil separating the Most Holy Place was torn, top to bottom, presumably allowing free access to the inside (though I can't imagine anyone just waltzing in as if they had free rights to walk about the place).

The traditional Christian interpretation of this event is that everyone now has direct access to God through Yeshua and that no man serves as mediator to our Creator anymore.

But how does that work in practical terms?

Certainly in the time of Moses and before, any Jew could pray to God and expect God to respond to those prayers. Even if a Gentile became aware of God and came to faith in God and even without that Gentile converting to Judaism, wouldn't that person still be able to pray to God and expect God to hear those prayers? Adam talked to God before the Mishkan and the Torah. So did Noah. So did Abraham. Were they special cases?

In the time just before Yeshua's sacrifice, we know that Jews prayed to God. Yeshua himself related the following:

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." -Luke 18:9-14

Both of these men were praying to God as individuals. The Pharisee in the parable certainly expected that God would hear his prayers, though from Yeshua's comments, we get the definite impression it was the Tax Collector who was truly heard by God.

How about a Gentile God-fearer worshipping in the synagogue in the same time period? Certainly the God-fearer would pray. Wouldn't God hear him?

How would all this have changed after the death, resurrection, and ascension of Yeshua? Since Peter (Acts 10) was surprised that Gentiles could receive the Holy Spirit, this was something new, but we see the Jewish disciples receiving that self-same Spirit in Acts 2. Is that the difference in access? Did Jews always receive the Spirit before the Acts 2 event, or only those who were granted the gift of Prophecy or who were assigned to be Judges?

As I've mentioned in my comments on Judah's blog, I admire the security people place in their own interpretation of all the commandments and events recorded in the Bible (and elsewhere) but how can you arrive at a specific conclusion, among all the different options, and be convinced that your personal conclusion is correct?

I have faith in God, but the only conclusion I have come to with any certainty, even within the context of the Bible, is that I haven't the faintest idea of how God really "works".

Ashes and Flight

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. -Kahlil Gibran

In the process of re-evaluating my understanding of my role in the realm of God and whatever connection I may (or may not) have with the nation of Israel through the blood of the Messiah, I've spent (as I'm sure you well know) a significant amount of time deconstructing my theology and stripping it down to its base components. I can't say the process has been painless and a significant amount of doubt has entered my life as a result. In one sense, I wish this journey on every person of faith because for all its difficulty, there are great rewards not only at the end of the road, but at every milepost. In another way, I wouldn't wish this "discomfort" on my worst enemy in life. It's like deliberately inviting the following:

But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. -James 1:6-8

In my case, this is meant to be a temporary condition, but it's not a pleasant thing to say to yourself and to ask other people, How do I know what I think I know?"

Although I've only been asking these sorts of questions on my personal blog for the last month (which is the reason I created this blog in the first place), I've been pursuing this line of inquiry for a great deal longer, sometimes on my congregation's blog. For instance, in trying to imagine what a mixed Jewish-Gentile congregation might look like in a first century Messianic synagogue, I wrote Friday Night in the First Century Church. Some of my understanding has shifted just a bit since I wrote that article, but it does capture the essence of my quest to understand how to worship the Jewish Messiah as a Gentile believer.

I've also tried to get a better understanding of how Judaism (the larger Judaism, not Messianic Judaism, specifically) sees and understands Gentiles and our place in the world. This isn't as irrelevant as you might imagine. If the current expression of Messianic Judaism (MJ) and particularly those congregations that embrace the Bilateral Ecclesiology (BE) perspective truly encompass a Jewish world view, then understanding how believing Gentiles fit in to the believing Jewish paradigm should be very connected to how Judaism as a whole sees the non-Jewish world.

To that end, I tried to explore the topic in an article called What Does the Talmud Say About Gentiles? Interestingly, I received almost no comments in response to this particular article, perhaps because the One Law (OL) movement has little or no interest in the Talmudic commentary on non-Jews.

Reliable online sources for this information are scarce, but I was able to come up with a body of information that seemed to support a Jewish view of Gentiles as indeed being "created in the image of God" and out of that, a Jewish response to Gentiles that may surprise some, even those who are part of the Messianic Jewish movement.

I'm beginning to realize that it may be because Gentiles are grafted in to the root of the "civilized olive tree" that Messianic Jews have a harder time dealing with believing Gentiles (at least those of us who operate within "the movement") than traditional rabbinic Jews. I think I've said before that, because the larger body of Judaism doesn't see Gentiles grafted in to their root, the threat of "invasion" and supersessionism isn't quite as sharp. Jewish people who have willingly become a part of the Messianic Jewish movement must also (sometimes uncomfortably) deal with sheep from the Gentile pen joining the flock under the same shepherd (John 10:14-17) and the obligation of Messianic Jews to disciple to Gentiles (Matthew 28:16-20).

Yesterday afternoon, I wrote the article Ecumenical in almost a state of desperation because I found it necessary to surrender an assumption I thought I'd never have to give up; the lack of an original Messianic worship template that included both Gentiles and Jews. One fragment of my plan of hope in finding a greater peace between Jewish and Gentile "Messianics" was shot down in flames like Snoopy's Sopwith Camel taking a nosedive thanks, once again, to the Red Baron.

It's amazing what a little prayer and a good night's sleep can do. Although the good night's sleep part wasn't as complete as I needed, God is faithful and like the proverbial Phoenix, I am once again arising from my own ashes into a light of a new day. Speaking of fire metaphors:

But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the LORD, as in days of old and as in previous years. -Malachi 3:2-4

While the Prophet Malachi is speaking to a strictly Jewish audience, Peter's commentary on Malachi allows the "refiner's fire" metaphor to be applied to Gentile believers as well:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. -1 Peter 1:6-9

Once again, I'm pouring water on the embers, dusting the ashes off my skin, rubbing salve into the burns, and rising hopefully. I may even decide to take flight.

Forked

One of the statements I've been pondering lately is the suggestion from MJ/BE proponents that the proper worship venue for Gentile believers in the Jewish Messiah is "the church". By "church" I can only imagine what they mean is the traditional Christian, Sunday-going, Christmas and Easter celebrating, pork chop and bacon eating church.

OK, that sounds pretty bad the way I expressed it. To be fair, some of the people who are most devoted to God and to living out a life dedicated to Yeshua/Jesus are found in the Christian church. I don't know about congregations that are MJ/BE focused, but from the OL congregational perspective, we often turn to a Christian church when we need a place of worship. Some (but not many) churches provide their space either cost free or for a substantial discount as part of their fellowship with our community and as an expression of our common faith in Messiah/Christ. And while both the Messianic Jewish and One Law groups tend to focus on the minutiae of our practice (how to tie your tzitzit, the best way to lay teffilin...), the church, for the most part, has been performing the weighter acts of the Torah by visiting the sick and imprisoned, feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, and preaching the Gospel of salvation through Christ.

Just how many Messianic Jewish and One Law congregations do that? OK, maybe yours does, but I'm talking about the wider population of congregations that, whether Jewish or Gentle lead, actually have their primary focus on serving others and not just focusing on the members of their own specific groups, their own practice, and their own ceremony.

Again, to be fair, no congregation, synagogue, church, denomination, sect, or any other grouping or category of religion or faith is perfect. The simple reason for that is such groups are always made up of human beings. We aren't always nice and we certainly don't always follow the teachings of our Master. More's the pity.

We can excuse, to some degree, the secular world for not performing the weighter acts of Torah kindness because their only Master is their own wants and needs. Yes, secular people can be altruistic, kind, selfless, giving, and self sacrificing. Chalk it up to being made in the image of God. While they don't acknowledge God, they seem to be listening to Him on some back channel or little known frequency, receiving His signals without quite realizing who they're talking to. Maybe they think it's the "milk of human kindness". Regardless, God talks to everyone and all of us, believer and secular person alike, have the choice of listening or not.

Here's what I'm getting at.

MJ/BE says that Gentiles should only worship within the context of the aforementioned Christian church. While the church, in general, has a lot going for it as I've mentioned, there are also "issues". Of course, there are "issues" in any faith group. Many people go "church shopping" (and I suppose in communities with a large enough Jewish population, some Jewish families go "synagogue shopping") to find a place of worship that most suits their needs, desires, theological perspectives, and anything else they may require. If I had the power to choose where to worship, where would I go?

Wait! Don't I have the power to choose where to worship? Yes and no. Let's think about it.

I have to choose from the available worship venues in my immediate community, unless I want to drive eight hours one-way to reach more options. I also have to consider the MJ/BE viewpoint that my only valid worship venue as a Gentile, is the church. I want to examine my options as if I have made no decisions. Here are the parameters.

I'm going to assume three possible options: The Christian church, the One Law congregation, and the Messianic Jewish synagogue. For the purposes of this blog, I'm going to define "Christian church" as a single entity, even though there are a large number of denominations and, even within those denominations, there are specific churches driven by slightly different priorities and perspectives. Here we go.

Christian Church

Pros:

1. Acceptance: As a Gentile believer, I'm instantly "in". I don't have to worry too much about being judged by my ethnicity, my nationality, my skin color, or a lot of other variables (unless I want to attend a church serving the Korean or African-American or Russian communities in my area).
2. Availability: Churches are just about everywhere and even in my little corner of the world, I have a lot to choose from. I have a lot of "shopping" options.
3. Community: There are a lot of Christians out there, so calling myself a "Christian" instantly tells people who I am and what I believe. Even secular people and people of other religions understand what a Christian is (even if they don't like them or at least don't like what they believe Christians stand for).
   
4. Low Requirements: This is sort of like "Acceptance" in that, there isn't much you really have to do to be accepted in the community. There aren't a lot of behavioral requirements to which members must comply. I can shop on Saturday and Sunday, eat what I want, dress how I want (mostly), pray how I want, call God and Jesus what I want (no foreign language requirements), and read the Bible just in English without feeling guilty or stupid.
5. Lovingkindness: I can operate within a congregation that is more dedicated to performing the acts of kindness commanded by Yeshua/Jesus and that is commanded throughout the Torah without having those acts be overshadowed or overwhelmed or just plain diluted by ceremonial concerns.

Cons:

1. Acceptance: As a Gentile believer with a "Hebraic" (however you want to define that term) point of view of the Bible, I'll either have to keep my big mouth shut during Bible classes or risk being tossed out on my ear when I speak up and disagree with the teacher that Jesus made all meats clean or changed the Sabbath from Saturday to Sunday (and you know how well I keep my opinions to myself).
2. Education: If I have to go through one more Kay Arthur canned, programmed Bible study, I'm going to puke. I design teachings so people can ask questions, even the hard ones, so that people can really participate and share their perspectives, not just so people can agree to the "party line". I'm not saying that Christian education is poor, but there aren't a lot of opportunities to stretch and grow and, as you know, I like questioning assumptions.
3. Ceremony: I gave up Christmas and Easter long ago and have no regrets. Even if I chose not to "celebrate" those events in my home, as part of a church, I'd be expected to participate in them in corporate worship and to at least fake being excited at the approach of the Christmas play.
4. Food: I keep what the local Chabad Rabbi calls "kosher-style" which amounts to following the Leviticus 11 guidelines for what is and isn't food. It's a personal conviction of mine (and I don't care if you say I don't "have" to or not, I "choose" to), so pretending I'm allergic to all pork, shellfish, and other treif products will be tough over the long haul.
5. Lying: This actually encompasses all of the "con" points because I'd have to do a considerable amount of lying to be able to operate within the parameters of what's expected in a church. Even keeping my mouth shut or forcing myself to stuff it with a ham sandwich is a form of lie.
6. Hypocrisy and worse: The single thing I can't swallow about the Church is replacement theology. While I've been repeatedly criticized by MJ/BE proponents of supporting replacement theology, that same group says I should attend a religious organization that's guaranteed to practice some version of this. Not an option for me.
   
7. Marriage: My wife is Jewish and even in terms of my current worship, she has to conceal certain items in our home when she has friends from shul over. Imagine how much more difficult life would be like for her if I became a regular church attender.

One Law Congregation

Pros:

1. Acceptance: Since I already attend what you call a One Law congregation and it most matches my theological understanding and worship style, I'm quite well accepted.
2. Education: I do most the teachings so, by definition, I approve of the curriculum, including the Shabbat teaching, any other classes, plus the blog and website content.
3. Ceremony: As a member of the board, I have a say in the order of service, prayers, so on and so forth. Plus, within the privacy of my own home, I can choose to pray in a manner that I feel consistent with my convictions.
4. Food: Within the congregation, we have agreed to the Leviticus 11 standard, so there's no question about diet and menu.
5. Community: While we are few, all of the folks who regularly attend tend to view the Bible, God, Yeshua, and each other in pretty much the same way. We like each other and tend to get along.

Cons:

1. Requirements: Not so much for regular attenders, but our worship style and pattern can be hard to pick up. The Hebrew tends to put off folks with a traditional church background and we can seem quite "rule bound" in some ways.
2. Community: We are only one of two One Law congregations within driving distance. Not a lot of shopping options.
3. Extreme Variability: If you look at One Law congregations in general, they are highly variable. No two are exactly alike or even remotely alike. While I feel comfortable and accepted in my local community, I could visit another OL congregation and feel completely alienated by their practices and theology. I find some OL congregations to be kind of "crazy" in their beliefs. Lots of "grass roots" congregation development, and not always for the good.
4. Unusual People Magnet: I don't know how else to put this and be nice about it. We tend to attract people who have such odd or strange beliefs that they aren't accepted or even tolerated in any other religious venue. I've heard people say that during "the lost years of Jesus", the teenage Yeshua traveled to India with his "uncle" Nicodemus. The Bible hardly figures into some of these beliefs. We also occasionally attract predators and I've had to ask more than one fellow to leave after he expressed an "uncomfortable" interest in the woman and children of the congregation.
5. Acceptance: Within our walls, we accept one another, but we aren't accepted, or at least understood in the larger religious and secular communities. Most of us say we go to a "Messianic" congregation, which most church people have at least heard of. How do I explain the difference between MJ and OL to other communities who already think we're have crazy if not heretics or cultists?
6. Personal Education and Growth: If I want to learn, I have to self-study. Not a lot of opportunities to consult with more learned OL colleagues around here. Also, if I were a mere "member", and I had a personal or theological crisis, I could turn to someone higher up on the chain, expect wisdom and the assurance of confidentiality that wouldn't impact my relationships. I can't really do that when I'm on the board.
7. Marriage: While my wife and I have agreed that we are each doing what is right for ourselves in terms of our faith, we don't worship together anymore. As a member of an OL congregation, if I were to attend her synagogue, it might cause problems, especially since some people who orbit the fringe of OL locally also show up at the traditional synagogues. She's not available to worship with me in my context.

Messianic Jewish Congregation 

Pros:

1. Education: I'd be in an environment where the Rabbi/Congregational leader is well educated in Hebrew, Torah, Talmud, holding the equivalent of a Masters degree in theology or divinity (which is the educational requirement for all Rabbis in modern times..if you don't have the same background as a non-Messianic Rabbi, you're probably not a Rabbi).
2. Organization: The synagogue would have a more formal and organized structure of worship, activities, and so forth, rather than the more "grass roots" feel of an OL congregation.
3. Food: Whether or not I'd be expected to keep kosher on any level, any food in the congregation would be consumable by my standards.
4. Population Consistency: Most of the people would be Jewish or Gentiles who are seriously committed to supporting the Messianic community.

Cons:

1. Availability: There are none in my community, so that's that.
2. Acceptance: By definition, MJ/BE congregations redirect Gentiles to the Christian church, so there'd be minimal to no acceptance of me as a Gentile.
3. Ceremony: Since the worship would be specifically tailored towards Jewish members, parts of the prayer service that said, "Thank you for not making me a Gentile" would be more than a little uncomfortable and what would I do with the prayers in the Siddur where the person is referring to themselves as a Jew?
4. Community: Like acceptance, community would be a struggle if it was available at all. There would also always be some doubt that at least a few Jewish members of the congregation would look down on the Gentile members.
5. Marriage: My wife still wouldn't attend and, like many Jewish people, doesn't consider any form of Messianic Judaism to be a Judaism.

I'm sure that there are variables on both the pro and con side for each worship venue that I've overlooked and I trust that someone will step in and help me fill in the blanks. If you feel I have been unfair in any of my assessments, please let me know. I'm not trying to be unfair, I'm trying to take an honest look at what is and isn't attractive, from my point of view, about each worship type. No two churches or church denominations are alike. Certainly no two One Law congregations are alike and in fact, there's virtually no standardization among this body of worship communities at all. I don't know this for a fact, but I can only believe no two Messianic Jewish and probably no two MJ/BE congregations are exactly alike. I've had to generalize but I've tried to capture what I see as the core characteristics of each group. I have ignored one other option, but I might as well explore it. Particularly since I've had some experience worshiping there in the past.

The Jewish (non-Messianic) Synagogue 

Pros:

1. Marriage: I could worship with my wife. I know other families in the Chabad synagogue were one spouse is Jewish and the other is Gentile. It's doable as long as the non-Jewish spouse adheres to all of the requirements and behaviors of the congregation and does his or her best to fit in.
2. Population Consistency: Most if not all people attending are Jewish or Gentile spouse of Jews who are dedicated to living a Jewish lifestyle, including prayer and worship.
3. Food: A no brainer. If Gentiles are attending because they're married to a Jewish spouse, they're expected to eat the same foods as their spouse. No arguments here.
4. Ceremony: Everyone operates within the same framework, Jew and Gentile spouse alike, with the understanding that Jews and Gentiles have different roles and responsibilities (Gentiles aren't called up to read the Torah for instance) [Italicized text added as suggested by Gene for accuracy].
5. Acceptance: Oddly enough, as the spouse of a Jew, I'd probably be more accepted in a traditional synagogue than I would be in a Messianic Jewish/BE synagogue. No traditional Jewish Rabbi in his right mind would suggest that only my wife should worship in the synagogue and redirect me to a church, keeping in mind that "acceptance" is within the context of my not being Jewish.
6. Consistency and Stability: Unlike OL and maybe some MJ congregations, traditional Judaism is a well established worship form with lots of standardization and larger organizational support. No grass roots.

Cons:

1. Acceptance: While I'd probably be better accepted in the traditional synagogue by virtue of being married to a Jew, I've experienced some "discomfort" with certain members of the synagogue, so it's not all rosy. The primary reason why I left the synagogue (in this case Reform) the first time was that I couldn't find a niche. I didn't "fit in".
2. Ceremony: Again, when the siddur says "Thank you for not making me a Gentile", I'm going to have to swallow my tongue. As previously mentioned, my role in ceremony would be restricted by my being a Gentile.
3. Lying: I'm not abandoning my faith in Yeshua/Jesus but to worship in this context, I'm going to at least have to keep my mouth shut. If someone asks me point blank about my faith, I have to tell the truth and get kicked out or lie and deny the Messiah. This would also impact how my wife would be viewed and endanger her community with her fellow Jews.
4. Busting the Cover: Related to "lying". Occasionally, some people who orbit the fringes of OL visit traditional synagogues. I don't live in a large metropolitan area, so chances are I've met them all before. They'd "blow my cover" in a heartbeat, again messing up my wife's connection with the Jewish community.
5. Conversion: Believe it or not, this has crossed my mind before, but again, I'd have to deliberately lie and deny my faith in Yeshua/Jesus which I cannot do. Also Paul said conversion was not only unnecessary but basically a slap in the face to Yeshua's bloody death on the stake. Beyond all that, God created me as a Gentile, not a Jew. Who am I to say He made a mistake?

What do I want? What does God want of me? I don't know. Does anybody else think like me?