-My comment on the Daily Minyan blog post:
Bilateral Ecclesiology: Infrequently Answered Questions
Bilateral Ecclesiology and the Gentiles Series
If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that I'm not 100% sold on everything proposed by "Bilateral Ecclesiology" (BE) as presented in Mark Kinzer's book Postmissionary Messianic Judaism: Redefining Christian Engagement with the Jewish People. I understand and even support the need of the Jewish community contained within the Messianic movement to establish and maintain a uniquely Jewish identity and practice rather than assimilating into the Christian culture. However, I believe that BE may actually be working against one of it's stated goals; to promote "unity" between the Messianic synagogue and the Christian church. Often, the blogosphere discussion revolving around BE seems to build a brick wall between Jews and Christians, rather than encourage an open exchange.
While Gene Shlomovich makes a compelling case for Bilateral Ecclesiology in his latest blog post, I still think the ideal has a long way to go before it can be effectively and practically implemented in a manner that doesn't automatically reject most churches and the vast majority of Gentiles who, in one fashion or another, have attached themselves to Messianic or Messianic-like groups.
That said, a rather odd thought occurred to me the other day, but you'll need a little background about me first.
My wife is Jewish. More accurately, her mother was Jewish (my mother-in-law passed away many years ago) and her father was a Gentile (which still makes my wife halachically Jewish). My mother-in-law became estranged from her Jewish family in Boston decades ago and my wife was raised without any awareness that she was Jewish. She knew she had Jewish aunts, uncles, and cousins living in Southern California where she was raised, but she didn't make the connection back to her mother and then back to her.
When my wife began attending university in San Francisco, her dorm roommate was Jewish. As they started to get to know each other, they talked about their families, and it was my wife's roommate who put the pieces of the puzzle together and figured out my wife was Jewish. On a school break, my wife went home and confronted her mother and it was confirmed. My wife discovered her Judaism. She has since gone through the local Chabad Rabbi and had her background looked into and found that all of her mother's deceased relatives are buried in Jewish cemeteries.
You'll need to know all this to understand what I'm going to say later on.
When my wife and I married, neither of us had a religious faith. My wife was even more vehemently opposed to religion and religious people than I was. By that time, she knew she was Jewish, but it didn't make any particular impact on her life. I spent a lot of my history having secular Jewish friends (including other Jewish girlfriends before my wife), so I was "familiar" with Judaism, but only within that context. I never met any of my wife's Jewish relatives from back east and I only met one Jewish cousin from California, and his lifestyle was completely secular (and by the way, when he passed away, we went to the funeral and he was buried in a Jewish cemetery in Los Angeles).
In other words, as "intermarrieds", we had virtually none of the issues you'd expect in a Jewish interfaith marriage.
Time passed.
Long story short, we both came to faith in Jesus Christ in our early 40s and started attending a church. As "new believers" we had lots of questions but the church didn't seem to have lots of answers. Also, the "cliquishness" of the various "in groups" in the church gave us a very poor impression of Christianity, although we met many wonderful people who epitomized the grace and compassion of Jesus (I still miss Pastor Jerry).
My wife, by "accident" (if you believe in random events occurring within a created and purposeful universe) came into contact with our local "Messianic" (One Law) congregation and she was instantly hooked. I was finally finding a role in our church and it took some time for me to transition but eventually, I adopted a traditional early First Fruits of Zion (FFOZ) One Law perspective on Jews, Gentiles, the Torah, and God. I never looked back.
Another long story short, I stayed with the "Messianic movement" as my preferred worship and faith lifestyle, while my wife shot out the other end, through conservative and reform Judaism (for decades, the only synagogue in Southwestern Idaho was comprised of a reform group and a conservative group which had merged to create a viable, single membership) and into the Chabad, where she studies and worships today (though she still has strong ties and friendships in the reform/conservative community).
Welcome to my Jewish interfaith marriage.
Now for the "odd thought".
I'm not telling you all of this because I think my life and marriage are generally fascinating to the blogosphere, but because I realized when I wrote the words on Gene's blog which I quoted above, that my life and the proposal of BE have something in common. Let's take a look at the core of my realization again. I'll edit my original comments to provide clarity:
I'm a Christian man married to and living with a Jewish woman. Our lives are like two people who are traveling down two separate paths together. How can two people travel down two separate paths and, at the same time, be side-by-side, sharing the same lives and even to some degree, the same lifestyles, but being two separate and unique beings?It's an odd image, but maybe not as odd as you might think:
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. -Genesis 2:24
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. -Mark 10:7-9Anybody who's been married knows that men and women seem to be so different from each other, it's as if we were originally supposed to live on different planets. We conceptualize our environments in fundamentally different ways. We use radically different neural brain paths to process the same information. Men tend to be linear thinkers and are task-oriented, while women tend to be global thinkers and are relationship-oriented.
There are days when my wife just about drives me nuts...and I'm sure the reverse is true.
But what's all this got to do with Bilateral Ecclesiology? Plenty.
Despite all our differences based on being a man and woman, our different cultural backgrounds, differences in where we were raised, how we were raised, and now, differences in how we conceptualize God, the Bible, and faith, it's amazing we can live in the same house and still have a civil conversation.
But we love each other.
We share three grown children and one adorable grandchild. We live together, talk together, argue together, laugh together, cry together, drive each other crazy together, eat together, and we are married together...in spite of those things, including our interfaith marriage.
We are what God joined together.
As they set out from their place above, each soul is male and female as one. Only as they descend to this world do they part, each to its own side. And then it is the One Above who unites them again. This is His exclusive domain, for He alone knows which soul belongs to which and how they must reunite.Now imagine that the Christian church and Messianic Judaism are married. I know. What a shock. I've probably just offended every Messianic Jew/Bilateral Ecclesiologist on the Internet. I hope I didn't, because this is the vision I have that, if such a thing is possible, would make the Bilateral Ecclesiology vision (I won't even call it a model because it's not that far along in its developmental process as yet) work. Read what I said again but in the current context:
Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai (2nd century CE)
Zohar, Book I, 85b
I'm a Christian man living with a Jewish woman. Our lives are like two people who are traveling down two separate paths together. How can two people travel down two separate paths and, at the same time, be side-by-side, sharing the same lives and even to some degree, the same lifestyles, but being two separate and unique beings?Two peoples progressing together like a man and a woman who are traveling down two separate paths but who are together.
I don't know how it will work, but I do know my marriage works. No, I don't have a "perfect" marriage. It has plenty of warts, bruises, and scars. But it also has the advantage of enduring for almost 28 years through terrific stresses and trials, and also through terrific joys and celebrations. If you can answer the question about what keeps a marriage together under far less than optimal and problem-free circumstances, you'll probably have the answer to what has to happen to make BE work.
A word of caution. My daughter told me something this morning. We aren't out of the woods by a long shot. Here's why.
A friend of ours (a Gentile Christian woman married to a Jewish man and who attends the Chabad shul together) was "babysitting" for the Rabbi's six kids (yeah, that's a lot for a father and mother to have who are both under the age of 30). She took the kids to the main branch of our local library and they spent time looking through the children's books. At one point, one of the kids realized she was looking at a book about Christmas. Suddenly, as if the book had just burst into flames, she threw it out of her hands and cried out, "It's goyishe!"
She didn't mean it as a complement.
This is my "concern" about Bilateral Ecclesiology. I don't know exactly how the Chabad community views things that are Gentile and people who are Gentile, but this child's reaction seems to indicate that she was taught that "goyishe" things are "bad"...really "bad". Kind of like picking up what you think is a pretty flower only to realize its what the dog left on the lawn. Yuk!
If any expression of BE depicts things that are not Jewish (and people who are not Jewish) as "yukky Goyishe" and behaves as if even touching them is disguisting, we are going to have a problem. This was the problem that Peter had to confront:
About noon the following day as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray. He became hungry and wanted something to eat, and while the meal was being prepared, he fell into a trance. He saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by its four corners. It contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles and birds. Then a voice told him, “Get up, Peter. Kill and eat.”We can have a beautiful marriage together. Yes, it will be full of all of the special challenges and difficulties that any interfaith marriage faces, but with a lot of work, patience, and understanding, we can overcome those obstacles and be what God wanted us to be when He put us together.
“Surely not, Lord!” Peter replied. “I have never eaten anything impure or unclean.”
The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.” -Acts 10:9-15
This mystery is that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel. -Ephesians 3:6 (ESV)Are we going to stay married honey, or are you going to ask (God) for a divorce? Your choice.
The road is long and often, we travel in the dark, ignoring the light of the world. Look for the lamp who lights your path or you may become lost in the dark forever.
"A Jew never gives up. We're here to bring Mashiach, we will settle for nothing less." -Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh






