The Mysteries of Truth and Faith

There is no Truth without Faith. There is no Truth unless first there be a Faith on which it may be based.

-Milton Steinberg
As a Driven Leaf

The Torah was given to us in the barren, ownerless desert to emphasize that no man may claim any superior right to the word of G-d. It is equally the heritage of every Jew, man, woman, and child, equally accessible to the accomplished scholar and the most simple of Jews.

-Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of righteous memory
As related by Rabbi Yanki Tauber at Chabad.org

Ben Hei Hei would say: According to the pain is the gain.

-Pirkei Avot 5:21

What is truth and where do you find it? I suppose the answer to that depends on the individual. In Yossi Halevi's book At the Entrance to the Garden of Eden: A Jew's Search for Hope with Christians and Muslims in the Holy Land, we learn that holiness can be found in many unexpected places. It was certainly surprising to Halevi, the son of Holocaust survivors and an Israeli (he made Aliyah from New York in 1982) journalist to find holiness equally displayed among Muslim sages and Christian monks. Each of us, in our own way, searches for the Divine, some by gazing into the cosmos and others by searching the core of our souls.

I am seeking the part of God that dwells in me. Each person is created in the image of God and encapsulates a mystic spark from beyond the limits of Creation. It's as if that spark is continually trying to return to its Source. Jewish mystics believe that when we die, the animal or earthly part of our souls dies with us but the spark of the Divine flies upward and rejoins God.

Milton Steinberg says that we can find no truth unless it is based on faith. This crashes head-on into the typical secular understanding of "truth" based on facts and the belief that faith is irrelevant (or at least unspoken), but there can be no relationship with God without faith. Only God holds the truth of our existence in His hands.

When Rabbi Schneerson says that the Torah was given to us in the barren, ownerless desert to emphasize that no man may claim any superior right to the word of G-d, he is specifically speaking of the Jewish nation and that the Torah belongs equally to the Prince and the pauper; to the Priest and the woodcutter, yet it is also said:

Many peoples will come and say,
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the LORD,
to the temple of the God of Jacob.
He will teach us his ways,
so that we may walk in his paths.”
The law will go out from Zion,
the word of the LORD from Jerusalem. -Isaiah 2:3

Listen to me, my people;
hear me, my nation:
Instruction will go out from me;
my justice will become a light to the nations. -Isaiah 51:4

If we can believe the words of God as related through the prophet Isaiah, then we can add another meaning to Rabbi Schneerson's comments and say that the giving of the Torah in the desert may apply also to all of humanity. I'm not contradicting my position on how the Torah applies in a different manner to the Jew and the non-Jew, but I am saying that God is One and His Word is One. He is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and He is the God of Adam and Noah, too. He is the God of the Jewish Messiah, of the Apostle Paul, and of all the Jews and non-Jews to whom the Apostle taught the way of salvation and the path of Jesus.

How the Torah is applied to the Jewish people may seem obvious, depending on your viewpoint and tradition, but how the nations are supposed to understand the Torah as it "goes forth from Zion" isn't always clear. Certainly not all of you reading this blog will agree on how or perhaps even if the Law or any part of it is accessible to the non-Jewish nations:

Any dispute that is for the sake of Heaven is destined to endure; one that is not for the sake of Heaven is not destined to endure. Which is a dispute that is for the sake of Heaven? The dispute(s) between Hillel and Shammai. Which is a dispute that is not for the sake of Heaven? The dispute of Korach and all his company. -Pirkei Avot 5:17

While discussions between Jews and non-Jews over matters of Torah may not be accurately compared to the debates between Hillel and Shammai, I will be so bold as to say that our exchanges are still "for the sake of Heaven". While many Jews will agree that Hashem is the God of both Jews and Gentiles, they will apply the Noahide Laws as the obligation the nations are bound to in relation to God. Yet as I confirmed recently, from the teachings of the Jewish Messiah, we can allow the non-Jewish disciples to access more. How much more is a point of conjecture, but part of my personal journey is to pursue these questions and to attempt to live out the answers.

To paraphrase Ben Hei Hei, "it won't be easy".

Yet I don't believe my interest in the wisdom of the sages or the teachings of the man some have called "the Maggid of Nazeret" is the result of a random collision of interests. God is purposeful and His Creation is designed; nothing is truly irrelevant.

You ask me, “Why did G-d allow it to happen?”

You recognize that everything in this world has purpose and meaning. Examine any aspect of His vast Creation, from the cosmos to the workings of the atom, and you will see there must be a plan.

And so you ask, where does this fit into the plan?
How could it?

I can only answer, painfully, G-d alone knows.

But what I cannot know, I need not know.

I need not know in order to fulfill
that which my Creator has created me to do.

And that is, to change the world
so this could never happen again.

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
Chabad.org

Tragic events, such as the horrible effects of the recent storms in the midwest, the ongoing nuclear reactor crisis in Japan, and the struggle to serve the needy in Haiti are all a part of God's plan that completely eludes us. We live in a broken world where people are scared and hurt and dying.

My modest seeking of God's "face", so to speak, from the writings of such men as Maimonides and Steinberg and Schneerson is just as much a part of God's plan, perhaps just as mysterious, and completely purposeful. I live a human life in a broken world, but I'm seeking the means by which I can repair my small corner of it.

Soon, I will launch a new blog (I'll provide a link) and begin a new journey. I invite you all to join me.

"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought." -Matsuo Basho, Japanese poet

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark.

Looking for Myself

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it - not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it - they will be blessed in what they do. -James 1:22-25

James (Ya'akov), the brother of the Master, provides us a lesson that seems simple and straightforward. At it's core, he is telling his audience that the Torah, the teachings of God, defines who we are as believers. More to the point, the Torah, it's commandments and ordinances, define who is a Jew.

Ok, it's not that simple. In a practical sense, a Jew is anyone who has a Jewish mother, even if they don't study or observe the Torah. A Jew is a descendant of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. A Jew is the inheritor of the Torah and the covenant promises as given by God through Moses at Sinai. For non-Jews, simply obeying the Torah commandments in some manner or fashion, all by itself, does not make us Jewish.

So what does the Bible define for "the rest of us"? Look at what James is saying.

No matter who you are, it's not enough to read or to listen to the word. That doesn't tell you who you are. You might as well be anonymous and faceless if that's all there was to it. No, it's doing what the word says that defines you. Kind of like this quote from a popular movie:

It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.
Batman/Bruce Wayne (played by Christian Bale)
Batman Begins (2005)

Even the entertainment industry understands that "actions speak louder than words". However, while obeying the Torah commandments does not turn a Gentile into a Jew, following the directives to love God with everything we've got and loving our neighbor as ourselves (Mark 12:29-31 quoting Deuteronomy 6:4-5 and Leviticus 19:18) does tell us, and the rest of the world, who we are as Gentile disciples of the Jewish Messiah. That is how we find ourselves.

But there's a catch:

On today’s daf we find that the minchas kenaos clears up the sin by identifying the wrongdoer absolutely or by exonerating her of suspicion. Perhaps, in its own way, this is the hardest test for every Jew: to own up when we have failed so that we can really change our ways. Rav Yaakov Galinsky, shlit”a, points the challenge inherent in this with his usual biting humor. “In Novardohk they would tell a story of a certain young man who was always late for cheder. Day after day this child was punished, only to be tardy yet again the following day. One day the melamed asked the boy directly. ‘Why are you late every day?’

He answered, ‘Rebbe, my problems are that I am disorganized and forgetful. When I go to sleep each night I drop my clothes wherever and go to bed. The next morning it takes me a long time to get dressed. Is it any wonder that I come late?’

“The melamed offered practical advice. ‘All you need to do is to write a list of precisely where you dropped each article of clothing. The next morning when you wake up, consult the list and you will know exactly where you left your clothes the night before.’ “The boy went home with a lightened heart. The next day the child didn’t come at all. As soon as he was able, the melamed rushed to the young man’s house. He found the boy at his house, fully dressed but obviously very bewildered.

“What happened?” he asked.

“’I did exactly what you said. I wrote down that my tzitzis were in the garden, my shirt on the chair, my pants on the floor etc, I said hamapil with great joy and went to sleep. This morning I woke up and got dressed quickly but I still cannot locate the final item. It says clearly that I am in bed, but I checked my bed - and everywhere else - many times and cannot seem to find myself…’ ”

Rav Yaakov concluded, “This is obviously a joke, but it is so sad. How many of us are looking to find ourselves but cannot seem to do so! The very first question we will be asked in the next world is, ‘Ayekah?’ Where did you go and what did you do? Where did you plant yourself and what happened with you?”
from Daf Yomi Digest
Stories off the Daf
Identify the Problem
Menachos 60

For observant Jews, the Torah and Talmud define who they are, where they are from, where they can "look for themselves", and what they must do in this world to serve God and to love their neighbors. The Bible, and particularly the New Testament, provides a similar function to someone who self-identifies as a traditional Christian. Jews and Christians usually attend synagogues and churches that are affiliated with well-established movements in their respective religions. If a Jew goes to an Orthodox shul, that synagogue is affiliated with a larger organization of synagogues and there is a higher organizational accountability. If a Christian goes to a Baptist or Pentecostal church, that church also has certain affiliations and there is also an organizational accountability. Each house of worship teaches and offers worship services consistent with the larger groups with which they are affiliated. They do not make up their own "rules". Everyone knows who they are based on established standards.

In "Messianic Judaism", there are any number of "umbrella" organizations, but the vast majority of them are oriented around providing a Jewish religious context to Jews who believe that Jesus (Yeshua) is the Jewish Messiah. Of course, Gentiles are allowed to attend these synagogues, but there is no real focus on the duties, responsibilities, and purpose of non-Jewish disciples of the Jewish Messiah.

On top of that, a large number of "Messianic synagogues" are completely unaffiliated, particularly those that fall in the "One Law" category, which means they create their own standards, establish their own interpretations of the Bible, and define their own methods of being "Torah-observant." There is no higher accountability until you get to God and for a number of these congregations, their leader tells his "flock" that he reports directly to God and cannot otherwise be held to any standard of responsibility.

My own congregation is affiliated with the International Federation of Messianic Jews (IFMJ) but it's not a very effective organization. In the years I've been involved in the leadership and teaching duties in my group, I've never once heard from any member or authority (although they periodically make contact with another board member) and they provide nothing in the way of support or oversight. Besides accepting our "tithes" every quarter, they might as well not exist, relative to the day-to-day operations of our congregation. They certainly have no impact on what I write on the congregation's blog or teach to the congregational members.

As an individual, I probably fall within Derek Leman's definition of a Judeo Christian believer. I'm a Gentile person who is a disciple of the Jewish Messiah, but my theological and educational understanding is oriented in a more "Jewish" manner. I tend to see the Jewish teachings and text as the window into the understanding of the Messiah and of God, rather than a traditional Christian theological framework. People like me create and operate Bible study groups, fellowships, and congregations all of the time, but to the degree that there are no "parent" organizations specifically devoted to addressing my population group, most people like me are unaffiliated. We are making up our stories as we go along, not only for ourselves, but for other groups of people.

That's not a good thing. It's far too easy for unaffiliated individuals and groups to make up stories about who they are that don't reflect what God is saying to us. Alone, it's far too easy for us to introduce error and mistakes into our understanding and our practice.

That's both the reason I must leave the One Law movement and the danger I face in leaving the movement (or at least in not immediately joining some other religious group). Right now, I don't have a support group or authority to respond to beyond the board of the congregation but in leaving, I won't have even that. Of course, I won't be teaching anyone else either, so I won't run the risk of messing up other people if I make a mistake (and people who read my blog do so at their own risk...I'm just one guy and I can make mistakes).

Every morning I look in the mirror when I shave and I wonder who that person is looking back at me. In praying, and studying, and living what I hope is a "Godly" life, like the "certain young man" in the story from Novardohk, I am looking for myself. Yet, in all the places I'm looking, where am I to be found? When he turned up missing, the young man's Rebbe went looking for him. Is there anyone else looking for me?

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark.

Pursuing Sacred Cows

I thought I'd take a moment and pause amid frantic blogging and other activities to bring some of you up to date with what I'm doing and why I blog here. I "officially" write for my congregation's blog on matters that are of interest and concern, both to the congregation and (hopefully) to the Messianic community at large. However, as a representative of my congregation, I have a responsibility to write in a "voice" that reflects the nature and character of our group and as a part of the body of Messiah (Christ). On the other hand, there are times when I have another "voice"; my individual and personal voice.

On the personal side of my faith, I struggle with my faith in attempting to understand who I am in God. I sometimes imagine that everyone else in the community of faith has found their nice, comfortable niche and have settled into the secure arms of certainty for a long winter's nap, while I am still outside in the storm, fighting dragons and demons in my quest to discover my relationship with God (or tilting at windmills, take your pick).

OK, that's overly dramatic, but I do see faith and the pursuit of faith as a kind of struggle. I even blogged on this topic not too long ago. In fact, referencing that blog post, this is part of how I envision the struggle:

For years I had struggled with the theology of Catholicism, a theology which emphasizes belief. Once I seriously questioned that belief, the roots of my faith were shattered. Though I was taught that deeds were important, the stress was on having faith, on "believing in" something, even though or perhaps especially because it evaded all reason. In Judaism, by contrast, it is the emphasis on action, on righteous behavior that I find so attractive. The allowance, sometimes encouragement, of questions concerning belief, God, and truth is such a welcome relief. One can be religious and question; in fact, it is one's duty to question. Once I had learned that Israel meant "to struggle with God", I felt my destiny at hand.
by Lydia Kukoff in her book
Choosing Judaism

I started this blog last July to investigate the struggle in my own faith and the struggle of trying to integrate, or at least invite fellowship between Gentiles and Jews in the Messianic movement. Five months later, the struggle continues, with mixed results.

I must admit that the struggle is also one based on my personality and self identity and, while God is the author of who I am, I've also been tinkering around with his creation (me) for the past 56 years, so I have to take responsibility at this point, for what I've done with his basic handiwork. This blog is the result.

In questioning my own assumptions about faith and about a Gentile's place in the "sheep pen" of the Jewish Messiah, I also must question the assumptions of others. This makes me the pursuer and occasionally the slayer of "sacred cows". No one likes to have their sacred cows picked on and anyone who has the nerve to try will likely become unpopular.

Over these past several months, I've "taken on" various sacred cows with different degrees of zeal, but my most recent blog post (besides this one) is fully confronting the One Law/One Torah sacred cow. Keep in mind, I'm not necessarily aligning with one group over the other. If it were that simple, this blog may well not exist and I'd simply align with a particular organization or leader and settle quietly into that niche. What I am trying to do instead is to perform a bit of honest exploration on my own and see what comes up, without depending on drinking anyone's kool-aid.

Many other writers in the Messianic blogosphere focus on their areas of expertise and perhaps their comfort zones. We all like our comfort zones. I like my comfort zone. It's nice and cozy there. I've just been having trouble finding a comfort zone in the community of faith lately. Not that I don't take comfort from God and not that I can't be eased by the Spirit of the Messiah, but how that life of faith is to be lived out is another story. My personal story is compounded by the fact that my wife is Jewish but not Messianic. That means the one person in my life that God designed for me to share all of my inner self with cannot share my faith, nor can I embrace her faith which must deny the Messiah.

So I chase cows.

I try to be polite about it, but someone has to ask these silly questions. Recently, Judah Gabriel Himango commented in one of my blogs that "...since you've been pining on about gentiles..." The nature of text-only blog comments doesn't always allow me to understand the intent or mood of the commenter, so I don't know exactly what Judah meant by that statement, but when I looked up the definition of pining, it said, a feeling of deep longing. That's the noun. Synonyms (in verb form) are "ache", "yearn", "yen", "languish". In some stories, young, star-crossed lovers separated for months or years on end tend to "pine" for one another.

I don't know if that's what Judah meant to say.

However, as a Gentile in "the movement", I speak with the voice of a Gentile who is trying to understand how or if "the rest of us" fit into the Kingdom of God. I don't doubt that God accepts us. Otherwise, why did Yeshua do what he did? Why did the Messiah die for all humanity? Why would the Messiah send Paul as an emissary to the Gentiles? Why did God unfold a sheet of trief in front of Peter and then go tell him to have a meal with the Gentile God-fearer Cornelius?

But what does it all mean and how does it all work on a day-to-day basis? That's why I chase down sacred cows. It's my way of separating the chaff from the wheat in order to get down to the answer, if we can ever get to the answer. Chasing cows and removing chaff takes is a lot of work. It's pursuing faith. It's a struggle. That's why I'm here.

I chase cows.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress.