Have God's People Failed?

Rabbi Yechezkel Gubner opened the rally, which was graced by the presence of the city's Rabbanim and Admorim, with a moving cry: "Gevalt! We are standing opposite a building in which they convert Jews from their faith every day! From a small congregation of 10 people some two years ago, it has grown through limitless funding to some150 Jews -- 150 pure souls, sons of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, some of whom were kippah-wearers, converted out of their religion!"

The Chief Rabbi of Ashdod, Harav Yosef Sheinin, who defied an order from the High Court and refused to grant a kashrus certificate to a missionary eatery in the city, compared the missionaries to Haman.

from the story Thousands Rally in Ashdod Against Missionaries
MahNishmah.com

Update: The "hate-fest" isn't over yet. Here's more from the Maoz Israel Blog for February 28th. The original article continues below.

A story similar in content and tone was published at the Vos Iz Neias (The Voice of the Orthodox Jewish Community) site and probably many other Jewish Israeli sites as well. Last night, I read a different version of this story at both the Yinon and Kineti L'Tziyon blogs, quoting their original source at Maoz Israel:

Growing up as a Jew, I never in my life would have thought that I would one day be compared to Hitler. But that's just what happened tonight.

I was informed that there would be a 'rally' against Messianic Jews (Jews who believe that Yeshua is the promised Jewish Messiah) in the town of Ashdod, Israel.

At first we thought our dear Pnina was to have her bakery targeted again. The poor woman just wants to make cookies and cakes, but because of her faith in Yeshua, she's been endlessly harassed for years.

But no, this time the rally was in another part of town outside a Messianic Jewish congregation.

I honestly didn't know what to expect. Maybe a few demonstrators? I was shocked by what was in place when I arrived.

The blog writer goes on to describe a "well-organized hate-fest" with hundreds of ultra-orthodox boys and men rallying against the "missionaries" who have converted Jews away from their faith and to "Christianity". Here's more:

Before I realized what was happening I had between 50-100 people surrounding me, calling me a missionary and asking me what I was doing in Israel. Boys as young as 6-7 years old were hissing at me, making hateful faces. The group closed in more and more trying to intimidate and I'll be honest it worked.

These were people who had been bred from the the womb, to hate Yeshua and anyone who identifies themselves with Him. They didn't even see me as a human being. They just saw me as a vessel of everything they loathe.

And yet, these were Jews who, as a people, have experienced a long, long history of being harassed, taunted, marginalized, assaulted, tortured, and even murdered by Christians seeking to forcibly convert Jews to Jesus in ancient and not so ancient times. If these Ultra-Orthodox protesters believed that the Messianic congregation in Ashdod had the same goals and could use the same or similar methods (today in Israel, torture wouldn't be expected but trickery might), then the passion the protesters displayed was seen as absolutely justified from their point of view.

And that's the problem. Any act of hatred or violence can be justified in the eyes of the people perpetrating such acts.

Lest you think I'm picking on just this one group of Ultra-Orthodox Jews, such emotions and behaviors aren't limited to just them. There are plenty of news articles, such as published by Haaretz.com and Guardian.co.uk, chronicling acts of violence from Haredi groups in Israel, even against Jewish women:

Mikhail, who is reluctant to give her full name, had scandalised members of her ultra-orthodox Jewish community by leaving her husband and embracing a secular lifestyle. The men, all members of the theologically conservative Haredi branch of Judaism, tackled her to the ground, slammed her head against the floor and tied a rag around her mouth. One assailant sat on her head as the others kicked her while demanding to know the names of the men she was seeing.

They also threatened to kill her if she did not leave the neighbourhood, which contains many secular as well as religious residents. 'A woman is only OK if she has a family, kids and a husband,' said Mikhail with a sigh.

The Ultra-Orthodox also protest with violence and vandalism in defense of the Shabbat in Jerusalem:

After ultra-Orthodox demonstrators protested opposite the Intel offices in Jerusalem on Saturday, Trade Minister Benjamin Ben-Eliezer on Sunday said that such violence and vandalism would not be tolerated by the government.

"Whoever thinks that violence will solve the problem, and whoever thinks that the government will accept violence and vandalism is wrong," said Ben-Eliezer at a ceremony marking the opening of a new Intel site in Jerusalem.

"I understand that there are populations who have certain customs and demands and I respect that, but everything can be straightened out in a pleasant way and with mutual respect," the minister continued.

I'm probably going to be accused of being antisemitic by posting these links and quotes, but Jewish people aren't immune to committing unjust acts simply because they're Jewish. Neither are Christians, according to this story from The Huffington Post:

Westboro Baptist Church, the Topeka church known for its inflammatory anti-gay protests, plans to picket the funerals of the six people gunned down in Arizona on Saturday.

In a flier posted on its web site, the controversial church writes, "THANK GOD FOR THE SHOOTER -- 6 DEAD!" The message continues:

God appointed this rod for your sins! God sent the shooter! This hateful nation unleashed violent veterans on the servants of God at WBC--hoping to silence our kind warning to obey God and flee the wrath to come.

The flier claims that the shooting of both a House member and a federal judge -- the latter of whom was killed -- is god's punishment for judicial and Congressional action against the WBC.

Am I citing extreme examples? Yes. So what's my point?

Maybe they're not all that extreme. For every church, synagogue, or group that acts out thoughts and emotions of violence and hate, how many out there preach them in their congregations? How many churches still teach their congregations that the "Jews killed Jesus" and deserve eternal damnation? Won't these same groups use the "incident" in Ashdod to support their beliefs? If a Jewish man or woman in Israel comes to faith in Yeshua (Jesus) as the Messiah because they've associated with a Messianic congregation, won't that justify the belief that Messianic Jewish congregations exist solely as missionary groups designed to prey on and convert innocent Jews? Doesn't that justify any act to stop such an atrocity against Jews, especially in their own Land?

When I first read the news last night, I wrote a brief blog post registering my sadness and regret, but this morning things continued to pile up inside of me.

On a very small scale, I have an "interfaith" dilemma of my own to face. As I've mentioned before, my wife is Jewish and is associated with the local Chabad synagogue. While things are generally at peace in our home, I know there are certain issues we can't freely discuss if we want to keep that peace.

My son and daughter-in-law brought our two year old grandson to spend the night last night. My 22 year old daughter, who lives with us and self-identifies as Jewish, was reading a book to him before my grandson went to bed. At one point, she said something like "The book is religious" and told me that it was quoting something out of 1 Thessalonians (I don't recall the specific chapter and verse). It wasn't so much what my daughter said but the tone in her voice, which wasn't pleasant, when she noticed the quote from the Christian Bible. I looked at my wife in that instant and her facial expression was completely frozen. I asked if she objected to the specific quote in the book (I didn't buy the book and don't recall where it came from) and told her I would have no objection if we had more Jewish children's books. She barely made any sound in response and the entire event passed.

On several previous occasions, I've offered to leave my Messianic (One Law) congregation if my continued attendance offended or embarrassed my wife. Her repeated response was that she had no right to ask such a thing of me and that I had every right to worship where I chose.

But that wasn't really a response. I asked her if she wanted me to quit, not whether or not she had the right to ask me to leave.

As far as I can tell, the only Jews who read my blog are Messianic, so we have a worship of the Jewish Messiah in common. However, I'm sure other (non-Messianic) Jews (assuming they would read this blog) would disagree with my choice of faith and its expression. To the degree that what I do doesn't effect them or any other Jew, I guess they have no reason to chime in regarding how they feel about people like me. However, what I do and where I worship absolutely affects my Jewish family.

I can only guess a somewhat related dynamic is happening in Israel. The Ultra-Orthodox see Messianic Jews (who they no doubt view as "former-Jews" and "Christian missionaries") and feel threatened and angry. It would be bad enough if this were a group of Christian (Gentile) missionaries in Ashdod, but they aren't Gentiles...they're Jewish. From the perspective of many Israeli (and other) Jews, it must seem as if the Messianic congregation is composed of a bunch of "traitors". What doesn't seem obvious to many Christians witnessing these protests, amid the anger and (potential) violence, are the feelings of the protesting Jews of being threatened and hurt by Jews who seem to have turned against their own people. I can only imagine how bitter a thing this must be.

But is the only response anger and violence? Is this what it's come down to? Is this what the Master meant when he said, " However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth" (Luke 18:8)? But he also said this:

‘Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! See, your house is left to you, desolate. For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, “Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord.” ’ -Matthew 23:37-39 (NRSV)

I realized this morning that I not only feel my heartache for the congregation in Ashdod, but I also feel it on a very personal level. How much of that feeling of mistrust and disdain of Christianity could be happening in my own home? As long as I keep quiet and don't overtly speak out of my faith, the matter stays dormant. But what would happen if I became more obvious?

I've told my family that this summer, I will be leaving the Messianic movement, but will I also be expected to surrender all faith in Jesus? I doubt my wife would come out and ask such a thing of me, but is the desire in her heart? Would she be happy if I threw away my Bible? Do I dare spend (waste?) money by purchasing other New Testament commentaries to continue the exploration of my faith and understanding of the Bible? Will I someday eat at the same table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob or merely dine on ashes? What is the future of faith in Christ in the Holy Land? When the Messiah comes, will he find faith?

And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. -Friedrich Nietzsche

The road is long and we are surrounded by darkness.

Tragedy in Ashdod

Persecution against Messianic Jews has increased lately in Israel, and last Monday night, February 21st, nearly 1,000 protesters gathered outside a Messianic congregation in Ashdod to spew hatred and lies. The event was organized by Yad L'Achim and was attended by many well-known rabbis who participated in delivering virulent speeches - spewing the typical epithets that Messianic Jews are stealing Jewish souls, prey on children, and equating us with Hitler.

Quoted from the Yinon blog.

You can find more links to the complete story at Judah Himango's Weekly Bracha 52 blog post. I've already been somewhat melancholy about the state of faith in general and the Messianic movement specifically, but reading the Ashdod story resulted in my feeling a profound sadness and remembering these words of the Master:

However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth? -Luke 18:8

Supposedly he will, otherwise why return, right? I know just a little bit about trying to grow closer to someone with the desire to help and become connected, only to be rebuffed and sometimes reviled. It must be thousands of times worse for these Jews to be yelled at and feel hated by their own people. Sure, these angry Israeli Jews have a good reason to feel threatened by what they think are "missionaries", but was the "hate fest" really necessary?

What can I say except, may the Messiah come swiftly and in our day.

And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. -Friedrich Nietzsche

The road is long and we are surrounded by darkness.

Teaching Women

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.’ -Luke 10:38-42 (NRSV)

I used this text during last Shabbat's teaching at my congregation as part of a discussion of gifts, giving, and motivation, but something a little unusual happened. It wasn't that I learned something new during the lesson. I often learn something new from what the class says when I teach, but I heard an interpretation, well a "hint" anyway, of something I'd absolutely never considered before.

We were discussing the differences between Mary (Miriam) and Martha (Marta) during this sequence of events and, while Martha was correctly expressing middle eastern hospitality (which particularly in ancient times was a much bigger deal than in modern American homes), the Master was pointing out that learning the things of God contains a greater and more lasting value.

First let's address the issue of hospitality just to get it out of the way. I'll use a classic example:

The Lord appeared to him by the terebinths of Mamre; he was sitting at the entrance of the tent as the day grew hot. Looking up, he saw three men standing near him. As soon as he saw them, he ran from the entrance of the tent to greet them and, bowing to the ground, he said, "My lords, if it please you, do not go on past your servant. Let a little water be brought; bathe your feet and recline under the tree. And let me fetch a morsel of bread that you may refresh yourselves; then go on—seeing that you have come your servant's way." They replied, "Do as you have said."

Abraham hastened into the tent to Sarah, and said, "Quick, three seahs of choice flour! Knead and make cakes!" Then Abraham ran to the herd, took a calf, tender and choice, and gave it to a servant-boy, who hastened to prepare it. He took curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared and set these before them; and he waited on them under the tree as they ate. -Genesis 18:1-8 (JPS Tanakh)

As you'll recall from Genesis 17:26, Abraham, and every male in his household, had just recently been circumcised, so running around to make sure that the needs of the three strangers (there's no reason to believe Abraham knew they were angelic beings at this point) was undoubtedly really "uncomfortable" for him. Nevertheless, he would have been severely remiss as a host if he had neglected his guests, no matter what the reason.

Also, there's this:

And he said to them, ‘Suppose one of you has a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say to him, “Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; 6for a friend of mine has arrived, and I have nothing to set before him.” And he answers from within, “Do not bother me; the door has already been locked, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.” I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, at least because of his persistence he will get up and give him whatever he needs. -Luke 11:5-8 (NRSV)

In this case, Jesus is using an example of hospitality that would have been very familiar to his audience and which not only mirrors Abraham's example, but explains why Martha was so distressed that Mary wasn't helping out in serving the guests. Jesus wasn't undoing the custom and duty of hospitality when he spoke to Martha, he was explaining that there are things even more important, and Mary was doing them.

But besides breaching social etiquette, what's so special about Mary sitting at the Master's feet and learning from him? She was a woman.

Think about it. Although Jesus had many disciples who were women, in almost all "important" transactions, he is speaking to and teaching men. All of his inner circle; the twelve disciples, were men. There is a long tradition in the Tanakh, the Apostolic Scriptures, and in historic Judaism and Christianity that tends to favor men over women.

Does that mean Judaism and Christianity is sexist?

Besides all of that, I don't think that Christianity would exist today if it were not for sexism. If Mary didn't face getting stoned to death for getting knocked up before marriage, there would have been no need for the cockamamie immaculate conception story anyhow. Odds are, Joseph pressured her to have sex before marriage and told her nothing bad was going to happen. But, I guess I'm biased.

From an article at Think Atheist

However, there are numerous areas of the Bible where we see that women are not treated poorly, as the above writer suggests:

The daughters of Zelophehad, of Manassite family—son of Hepher son of Gilead son of Machir son of Manasseh son of Joseph—came forward. The names of the daughters were Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah. They stood before Moses, Eleazar the priest, the chieftains, and the whole assembly, at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting, and they said, "Our father died in the wilderness. He was not one of the faction, Korah's faction, which banded together against the Lord, but died for his own sin; and he has left no sons. Let not our father's name be lost to his clan just because he had no son! Give us a holding among our father's kinsmen!"

Moses brought their case before the Lord.

And the Lord said to Moses, "The plea of Zelophehad's daughters is just: you should give them a hereditary holding among their father's kinsmen; transfer their father's share to them. -Numbers 27:1-7 (JPS Tanakh)

On the one hand, Moses had to bring this case before God because it wasn't obvious that Zelophehad's daughters should inherit, but on the hand, Moses didn't dismiss their case out of hand because it wasn't obvious that they shouldn't have such rights.

There are numerous examples of how women are valued and esteemed in the ancient Jewish (Proverbs 31:10-31) and Christian worlds, but in Christianity, the most obvious example is this:

As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to the promise. -Galatians 3:27-29 (NRSV)

"No longer male and female" doesn't mean Paul is saying that the differences between sexes were eliminated, but that access to God and our value in the eyes of the Jewish Messiah isn't affected by our gender. For men and women (and Jews, Gentiles, masters, and slaves) the playing field is completely level in that regard.

While the message of wives submitting to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-24) is often seen as sexist and oppressive, critics usually don't read far enough to see that husbands are commanded to care for their wives to the same standard that they care for themselves (Ephesians 5:25-33), and that the relationship of love and respect in marriage goes both ways.

But having said all that, did women in ancient (and not so ancient) times, have equal access to Religious and Spiritual learning?

If you've seen the 1983 Barbra Streisand film Yentl, then you might be tempted to say "no". After all, Streisand's character in the film must disguise herself as a young man to be allowed to attend a Yeshiva in Poland in 1903. This is a relatively accurate understanding of women and Jewish Yeshiva education at that time.

Traditionally in Judaism, women are "exempted" from a number of time related mitzvot as they would interfere with their duties as mothers and wives (which can certainly sound sexist). Christianity must admit to the same historical responsibility in favoring men over women in the areas of education and ministry.

While the majority of "key players" in the Bible are undeniably men, perhaps this is more of a reflection of cultural bias rather than God's intent. We see some exceptional women in the Bible (the Judge Deborah) and we notice in a number of Paul's letters that he commends a significant group of faithful women in the fledgling Messianic community. While Jesus didn't seem to assign leadership roles to any women among his inner circle, his treatment of Mary seems to show that he didn't object to (and perhaps instead respected) Mary sitting at his feet and learning the same lessons as the men. Holiness is after all, an equal opportunity affair if we can believe Paul's letter to the Galatians, and if both men and women are to have equal access to God, they certainly must be afforded an equal opportunity to learn.

While "equality" is considered more or less the norm in religious practice today (adjusted for practices in different Christian denominations and in the different branches of Judaism), we tend to think of the ancient record as showing that women were held to a lesser standard or denied equal opportunities for study and ministry. I don't believe this is true, or at least I don't believe this is true because of God's intent. If we can trust how Jesus interacted with Mary and Martha (and I admit, I'm piling on a tremendous amount of meaning onto a single part of the book of Luke), then the modern practice of admitting both men and women to Bible and Talmud study (again, adjusting for customs in different expressions of Christianity and Judaism), means we are finally catching up to a teaching of the Master that has been historically ignored.

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark.

Flickering

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam
asher kidishanu b'mitz'votav v'tzivanu
l'had'lik neir shel Shabbat. (Amein)

Blessed are you, Oh Lord, our God,
King of the universe
Who has sanctified us with His commandments
and commanded us to light the lights of Shabbat. (Amen)

Shabbat Kiddush

For those of you who observe a traditional Sabbath in some manner, you probably recognize the blessing over the candles, typically recited by the woman of the household to welcome in the Shabbat:

At least two candles should be lit, representing the dual commandments to remember and to keep the sabbath. The candles are lit by the woman of the household. After lighting, she waves her hands over the candles, welcoming in the sabbath. Then she covers her eyes, so as not to see the candles before reciting the blessing...The hands are then removed from the eyes, and she looks at the candles, completing the mitzvah of lighting the candles.

Judaism 101

Probably the candle lighting ceremony in Judaism that is best known to non-Jews is the lighting of the Chanukah menorah, which symbolizes the ancient Jewish victory over their Hellenistic oppressors and the cleansing and rededication of the Temple of God.

In Judaism, and in other religious traditions, candles or light represent a state of spiritual illumination and even a guide on the path of holiness.

Your Word is a lamp unto my feet
and a light unto my path -Psalm 119:105

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” -John 8:12

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. -Matthew 5:14-16

We see a strong image in these verses that both the Word of God and His living Word, the Jewish Messiah, are our light and our guide on the journey of holiness set before us by our Creator. And while God and Jesus (Yeshua) can never fail to be our light, the light within each of us is not invulnerable. Like any living thing, the Spirit; the light within each of us, must be protected, fed, and nurtured, or it will dim and finally fade away.

We were so close, there was no room
We bled inside each others wounds
We all had caught the same disease
And we all sang the songs of peace
Some came to sing, some came to pray
Some came to keep the dark away
So raise the candles high, 'cause if you don't
We could stay black against the night
Oh raise them higher again and if you do
We could stay dry against the rain

Melanie Safka
Lay Down (1970)

Even in popular songs (from when I was young, anyway), candles are used to symbolize the same things as in the world of faith. Without the light that God gives to each of us, we will "stay black against the night". The parable of the ten virgins (Matthew 25:1-13) abundantly warns us against the dangers of allowing our lamps to run out of oil, and both oil and light in the Bible often represent the Spirit of God.

I should be happy that another Sabbath is approaching. Friday is here, the work week is winding down, and tonight, I have the privilege of watching my wife light the Shabbos candles and witnessing a special holiness enter my small home. At once, it's such a simple and yet magnificent event. On many occasions, it is the candle lighting is the biggest joy of my Sabbath experience.

But like some other Fridays, I approach the Shabbat with a mixed sense of anticipation and melancholy. I find that the uncertainty of the future of my faith and the congregation where I currently worship, has cast a shadow over my rest that even the light within me cannot overcome. Then again, maybe it's my candle that is burning low. The wick is almost exhausted and the oil is all but consumed.

I'm holding out my only candle, though it's so little light to find my way
Now this story's been laid beneath my candle
And it's shorter every hour as it reaches for the day
Yes, I feel just like a candle in the way

Jackson Browne
Song for Adam (1972)

Like most people in the dark, my eyes are searching for some source of light I can focus upon, no matter how faint. I keep looking around me, but my sight is growing dim and my eyes are getting weary. Or is it just that the only light I'm looking vainly for is the one that is supposed to be within me? Where is the "light upon my path" I am trying to find?

Oh people, look among you
It`s there your hope must lie
There`s a sea bird above you
Gliding in one place like Jesus in the sky
We all must do the best we can
And then hang on to that Gospel plow
When my life is over, I`m going to stand before the Father
But the sisters of the sun are going to rock me on the water now

Jackson Brown
Rock Me on the Water (1972)

This is why we can never let ourselves be isolated and alone. Most of us, or maybe I'm only speaking for myself, can't sustain our "lights to the world" very long without support. The ten virgins were ten, after all, and they had each other for comfort and encouragement if need be, while waiting for the groom to arrive.

Melanie Safka's classic lyrics say that we either hold our candles high or we "stay black against the night". The world we live in is dark and the only light we can see by is the one we accept from God. But having accepted it, we must nurture and protect it. For that, we need help. If that help is not forthcoming, we're like a candle in the wind.

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did

Elton John and Bernie Taupin
Candle in the Wind (1973)

This song was written in memory of actress Marilyn Monroe, but it describes all of us; it describes me. Jackson Browne's lyrics speak of a hope within each of us, a connection to Jesus "in the sky" and a future standing "before the Father". John's and Taupin's song speaks of a life lived in loneliness and a flame that did not survive the struggle to stay aglow.

Perhaps, knowing all this, the custom of candle lighting to welcome in the Shabbat exists to remind us that we are not alone in the dark. There is a light shining in the blackness and even though it sometimes seems dim and far away, it is always there. Even when the light within us threatens to be extinguished, His light can never fail. If only I can keep my eyes on the light and not give in to the shadowy abyss.

And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

Friedrich Nietzsche

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark.

Carrying Water

"Ben (the son of) Zoma said: Who is wise? He who learns from all people, as it is said: 'From all those who taught me I gained understanding' (Psalms 119:99). Who is strong? He who conquers his evil inclination, as it is said: 'Better is one slow to anger than a strong man, and one who rules over his spirit than a conqueror of a city' (Proverbs 16:32). Who is rich? He who is satisfied with his lot, as it is said: 'When you eat the toil of your hands you are fortunate and it is good for you' (Psalms 128:2). 'You are fortunate' -- in this world; 'and it is good for you' -- in the World to Come. Who is honored? He who honors others, as it is said: 'For those who honor Me will I honor, and those who scorn Me will be degraded' (I Samuel 2:30)."

Pirkei Avot 4:1
quoted from Torah.org
Jewish Macho
by Rabbi Dovid Rosenfeld

Who is rich? He who is satisfied with his lot may not be the sort of answer we'd like to hear when we consider our incomes, especially in a difficult economic climate. This is especially true based on an article I found at Mother Jones yesterday which states that the gap between the rich and the rest of us in the U.S. is the widest it's ever been in the history of our nation (complete with charts and graphs). While average incomes dropped (adjusting for inflation) from 1979 to 2009 for the majority of citizens, they actually skyrocketed for the top 1% of American earners.

I'm at an age where I have an increased interest in how or if I'm going to be able to retire someday (although everyone should start thinking in this direction from the moment they earn their first paycheck) and this is not happy news. But is there a difference between providing an adequate income and "financial security" (if such a thing exists) for my family and the ambition to "keep up with the Joneses", so to speak? In troubled times, should I, like many Americans or people in the west, continue the course to conspicuous consumption, faster cars, bigger boats, larger houses, and humongous debt?

I don't strive for these things personally, but with all the toys and goodies available on the market, it's hard not to be tempted and instead, to be "satisfied with my lot."

I read an article this morning published at Chabad of Mineola called Daily Judgment. I encourage you to click the link and read the entire write up (it's not long) but in part, the author, Rabbi Yerachmiel Tilles says:

A young scholar came to Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov with a question. He had discovered a contradiction in the teachings of the sages, and wanted to hear how the chassidic master would resolve it. On the one hand, the Talmud states that a person’s parnassah (income and livelihood) for the entire year is determined on Rosh Hashanah. On the other hand, it also declares that “a person is judged each day” for his livelihood. Was this not a contradiction?

In order to address the young Talmud scholar's question, the Baal Shem Tov used a local water-carrier as an example (think of him sort of like Tevye "with a pole across his back and a pail of water tied at each end"). While the Baal Shem Tov upholds the ruling that a person's income for the year is set at Rosh Hashanah, he uses two separate conversations with the water-carrier to illustrate that his attitude about how he receives each day's work changes, "depending on the daily judgment." This is the water-carrier's judgment of how he perceives his life and his toil, not God's.

This works for us, too. It doesn't necessarily mean we shouldn't try to get ahead, apply for better jobs, ask for a raise, and strive to provide a better living for our families, but there are many things about our lives and our work in our present situations that we can't always change. The water-carrier couldn't change how heavy the buckets of water were, how children teased him, or how he barely made ends meet at the end of each day, but he could change how he perceived his lot in life. So can we.

Last night I taught a class at my congregation based on my What Did Jesus Teach series. We're taking a look at the different lessons Jesus taught in the Book of Matthew and trying to see if any of them can be found or even alluded to in the Torah. We're using the list of commandments found in The Concise Book of Mitzvoth as compiled by the Chafetz Chayim, which has been determined to be the mitzvot that can be obeyed in the modern age, outside the land of Israel.

As part of the lesson, I mentioned that both the written and oral Torah are considered "the Torah" and that traditionally in Judaism, you cannot understand what the written portion is teaching without an understanding and study of the oral tradition. In other words, Talmud study, at least on some level, is a requirement for understanding written Torah. If studying the written Torah is necessary for understanding the teachings of Jesus, since this was his source material, it creates an additional dimension of learning to be more like Jesus for people who are called Christians.

That's a rather tough concept for my students to get. They seem pretty stuck on "man-made traditions" vs. the Word of God and see the former as fallible and the latter as absolute. Yet the Bible is a book that isn't so much read as it is interpreted. If we could read the Bible like a best selling novel, going through it one or two times would be enough for us to completely "get it" as far as God's intentions for our lives are concerned.

By posting a link to Rabbi Tilles's commentary on daily judgment, I'm hoping to illustrate that accessing the wisdom of the sages isn't in opposition to the Word of God, but instead, an illumination of what we can find if we only look. As I've said in the past, I don't think I could ever rely solely on Christian scholarly publications to define the limits of my understanding of what God is trying to teach. The Jewish people were the keepers of the Torah, the Shabbat, and the only worshipers of God when the ancient ancestors of modern-day Christians and Muslims were giving blood offerings to obscene pagan "gods". I tend to think they have the upper hand on understanding what it's like to try to puzzle through the lessons provided by the Creator.

Like the water-carrier, we are all looking for something, but it's how we choose to do the looking that defines what we'll discover.

Torah study at its highest level is the understanding of the application of the Torah's principles to real people and real life situations -- how do the Torah's eternal truths apply to the human condition. G-d's wisdom is eternal, yet no two people are precisely alike and relate to the Torah in precisely the same manner. Every one of us has his own perspective, his own life story, and his own unique personality. Each of us will see a slightly different message in the Torah, and will have his or her own fresh insight into its beauty and relevance.

Rabbi Dovid Rosenfeld

I sit before my only candle, but it's so little light to find my way
Now the story unfolds before my candle
Which is shorter every hour as it reaches for the day
But I feel just like a candle, in a way

Song for Adam
Jackson Browne

In Opposition

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? -1 Corinthians 7:10-16

Almost three months ago, I wrote a blog post called The Unequal Yoke, specifically addressing Christian/Jewish intermarriages in the Messianic community (and to a certain degree, the larger world of Christian-Jewish intermarriage). More recently, I've been following the comments on the Be All You Can Be blog post at Spiritually Unequal Marriage, which seems to be a blog crafted primarily for Christian women who are married to unbelieving husbands.

I occasionally comment on that blog (though I'm not a Christian woman and my wife has a faith) because I am an "intermarried" and believe I can add a unique and hopefully valuable insight to various conversations. In reading some of the comments on the aforementioned blog post, I'm reminded of a more expansive issue in both Christianity and Judaism.

Families can be fractured when one spouse "has faith" and the other does not. It's most typical, at least in my experience, for the woman of the household to be the "faithful" one, often taking the children with her to church or synagogue while the husband stays home or does errands. This is ironic because in both Christian and Jewish traditions, the husband is identified as the "spiritual leader" of the family and has specific behavioral responsibilities (particularly in Judaism) relative to God and family. Nevertheless, women seem to have been designed to be more "spiritually sensitive" than men, perhaps because women are more often communally and relationship oriented than men.

But where does that leave the wives and mothers? Not in a very good spot.

Often, this schism puts the woman at odds with her husband as she tries to balance her responsibilities to both the home and the church or synagogue. While all people of faith can sometimes experience a "higher calling" to God than to the family, in fact, our first "ministry" is in our home. This is more easily realized in Judaism than in Christianity, since the primary focus of worship occurs in the home, particularly for women who are considered exempt halachically from many of the commandments related to praying with a minyan in the synagogue (and in Orthodox Judaism, women cannot make up a minyan, although in a Reform shul, it would be allowed).

Besides being conflicted and feeling guilty, what can women do when they are the person of faith in the marriage and the husband is either indifferent or actively opposed to her religious activities?

I don't have a pat answer for that one. I do know that my own small congregation typically has members and attendees who come without their spouses for exactly this reason. In my case, my wife's faith does not accept Christ as the Messiah, and so she "declines" to attend services with me, even on an occasional basis. There are a wide variety of reasons why I cannot currently attend any activities at the Chabad or Reform synagogues with her in our community, so our active, communal worship lives are isolated from one another.

One of our fellows attends our congregation alone on Saturdays and goes to a more traditional church with his wife and grandchildren on Sundays. A woman, who has been with us for many years, has just recently convinced her husband to begin attending our classes and services, but for a long time, he refused. This illustrates that it is not just marriages in which one spouse is religious and the other is not where this dynamic can be found, but in relationships where each spouse belongs to different religions or different "denominations" within the same basic faith.

Almost always, there's a certain amount of tension in the home as a result of such a conflict and a sense of loss during worship, even as we pray and draw closer to God, because our loved one is not at our side (and while in an Orthodox Jewish setting, men and women do not sit with each other, they are both aware that each is praying within their own context in the synagogue).

I write all this, not to try and solve a problem which perhaps has no visible solution, but to offer a thought. It's not as if God isn't aware of our circumstances and is unconcerned. However, like many of our other needs and difficulties, God doesn't always choose to immediately intervene and "solve" the problem for us.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” -Luke 11:9-13

From this and many other writings about prayer we see in the Bible, believers sometimes get the impression that all we have to do is pray and God will immediately give us what we have asked for and then some. However, God is not like the genie in the story about Aladdin. Faith, prayer, and our relationship with God isn't quite that simple. There is much we can and must learn from the experience of God not solving all of our problems the minute we realize we have them. If He did, that would pretty much do away with the requirement to have faith, particularly under duress.

In Mark 10:7-9, Jesus, referring to Genesis 2:24 says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate”. From this, we see that except under specific circumstances (referring back to 1 Corinthians 7:10-16), a "mixed marriage" is not reason enough to separate a couple and in fact, God expects us to keep the vows we made on our wedding day ("for better or for worse" may come to mind).

Your unbelieving spouse is not your enemy. He (or she) is by design, the closest human being to you on the planet. Depending on your view of marriage as seen through the lens of faith, you may have an understanding that God specifically arranged for you to be married to your spouse and yes, knowing that one of you would be believing and the other would not have faith. God does, or at least allows, a lot of other things we don't understand and sometimes these are things that cause us pain. Why does God allow a child to be born with Down's Syndrome? Why do some children die? Why do some Christian families lose their jobs, their homes, and end up living in poverty?

Why are you a Christian while your spouse is an atheist?

The point isn't that God has the answer and isn't telling, but that you are a person of faith and you are in distress.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth. -Psalm 121:1-2

I know that doesn't always help (and maybe you feel guilty because your faith isn't stronger so you "feel" faith instead of frustration), but it's true nonetheless.

In Genesis 32, Jacob's famous struggle with the angel is understood as a struggle with faith. He was about to face his brother Esau, the one who had vowed to kill Jacob, for the first time in decades and Jacob didn't know how he'd handle it. God showed Jacob that he could indeed struggle with even divine adversity and still win.

So can we, but as Jacob's example teaches us, sometimes it takes awhile (Jacob wrestled all night and the match wasn't over by dawn) and sometimes it hurts (after the struggle, Jacob walked with a limp for the rest of his life).

Yet we struggle...because that is life and that is faith.

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark.

Hope is Burning Like a Candle

I sit before my only candle, 
like a pilgrim sits beside the way
Now this journey appears before my candle
As a song that's growing fainter, the harder I play
That I fear before I end, will fade away
I guess I'll get there, but I wouldn't say for sure

from Song for Adam
Jackson Browne

I dusted off a very old CD, Jackson Browne's debut album from 1972 called Saturate Before Using which contains a number of "soulful" songs from my youth. Listening to tunes such as "Song for Adam", "Doctor My Eyes", and "Looking Into You" during my commute into work, brought back memories from many decades ago. Some of those songs also function as a counterpoint to my journey of faith and the general state of "religion" in the world around me.

I struggle with some of the undercurrents I see in Christianity as it's currently expressed. I follow a number of Christian Pastors and other believers on twitter and even among professional clergy, the narrow focus of the faith I find is alarming. It seems like "the end times" is just consuming Christianity, fixing the gaze and attention of the faithful forward into a future when Jesus will come, faithful Christians will be raptured, and everything will be hunky dory. Here's a couple of examples:

They laughed at Noah #Tworship #endtimes

Then they will deliver u 2 tribulation, & will kill u, & u will b hated by all nations because of My name. Matt 24:9 #Tworship #endtimes

I've already addressed my "issues" with focusing on an "X-Files-like" fantasy of the future in a recent blog as well as trying to promote being an answer to prayer in the current age. Frankly, if we keep our hearts and spirits prepared and keep our actions focused on serving God and helping others, the "end times" will take care of itself. Are we to defer caring about others for the sake of stroking our own egos and our personal salvation?

Oh people, look around you
The signs are everywhere
You've left it for somebody other than you
To be the one to care
You're lost inside your houses
There's no time to find you now
Your walls are burning and your towers are turning
I'm going to leave you here
and try to get down to the sea somehow

from Rock Me On the Water
Jackson Browne

What are we doing? Either we ignore the needs of people in the present and focus on the future, or we continually defend our right to bad mouth people we disagree with while defending our right to do so. More than that, when people complain to us about our casual attitude toward others, we accuse them of being mean spirited.

When did the community of faith become so distorted?

To answer my own question, I think we always have been. God's people have a long history of struggling to find our focus and then being able to keep it. Exodus 32 chronicles the "sin of the Golden Calf", which we read about and studied last week, but that's only one small sample of how those of us who have answered God's call to faithfulness allow our humanity to get in the way of His Holiness.

Where is the joy we are to have in serving God and loving our neighbor? Where is the pleasure we find in the pages of the Bible? Why aren't we listening to those who are wise?

"What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow: this is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn" -Shab. 31a

When was the last time you considered Hillel's words before blasting out a blog post or comment? Do we ever seek God and His will anymore, or do we just pander to our own desires and impulses? How does this make us any different than the world around us? Why should anyone care about our "witness" when we're no different than people who have no faith?

Well I looked into the sky for my anthem
And the words and the music came through
But words and music can never touch the beauty that I've seen
Looking into you
and that's true

from Looking Into You
Jackson Browne

If we can't find beauty in our own walk of faith, how can we expect anyone else to?

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. -Aesop

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark. The wind is coming up and threatening to put out the candle.

Traveling Alone

"Madonna said she just felt something was really missing in her life. After all the money, fame and everything, something was still missing. She came to our center where she felt she could just be herself, without the need to hide behind the curtain she always puts around herself. She can be an ordinary person. That's how she explained it to me."

Rabbi Yehuda Berg
Los Angeles Kabbalah Center
from The agent of Kabbalah

What attracts someone as unlikely to be involved in any sort of spiritual endeavour as Madonna to the study of Kabbalah? According to Rabbi Berg, as quoted above, it's a fundamental sense of emptyness or the feeling that, despite being materially successful, that something is still missing.

This is often the same reason people give for turning to Christianity, Buddhism, or some other form of religous observance and study. But Judaism, and certainly Kabbalah, aren't quite the same thing as other religious forms. For instance, Judaism doesn't seek converts and most often actively discourages people from attempting to convert. Also, Kabbalah isn't exactly a "Religion 101" class and Jewish mysticism can be very...mystic.

I find myself attracted to Judaism and sometimes I feel as if my newly-launched journey into studying the foundations of Christianity simply reinforces that attraction. I can't speak to Kabbalah, since I've never even read the Zohar (though it is on my reading list), but why are Christians and other non-Jews interested in and attracted to Judaism?

The other question that's important is, even if Gentiles are attracted to Judaism, why should Judaism, in any sense, open their doors to non-Jews? In the not-so-distant past, some Gentiles have feigned an interest and entered into Jewish study only to ultimately betray their would-be mentors. This would certainly seem to be ample motivation for Judaism to keep its doors closed. Rabbi Berg offers his perspective:

"We genuinely believe that Torah was given to everyone, and if these people come on Shabbat to listen to the Torah or on Rosh Hashana to hear the sound of the shofar, then we've done what it takes.

"We don't feel the need to convert them, and they're happy with the current situation too. We're happy to see them visit Israel because although it is the Jewish state, it has a huge attraction power."

In answering the question, "why should Gentiles reach out to Judaism?", Berg responds:

"It's a chance to broaden one's horizons. The Americans are a sort of herd, going where everyone's going. We believe people have to choose their own way. If it works for them they should use it, and if not they shouldn’t use it. There is a sort of openness in studying. There are famous people who are studying, which helps people connect."

""Torah was not only given to Jews; everything was given to everyone," Berg explains. "Kosher food is not necessarily ours either. Rabbi Shraga (Yehuda's father) says it's open to everyone and we're open to everyone in physical places too – on the Internet and through teachers teaching on Skype."

Of course, Rabbi Berg and the Kabbalah Center are not without their critics:

The Kabbalah Center is often slammed for allegedly trying to make headlines in any way, which does not match the principles of Kabbalah. "We had no intentional strategy to recruit famous people," Berg defends himself. "The way they reached us shows that it all came from them, not at all from us."

Indeed, the Kabbalah Centers are subject to widespread criticism. People say they extort money from people, advance a Torah which is distancing itself from Judaism, pretend to predict the future and adopt Christian symbols. There have even been claims that some of the content being taught in the classes is linked to anti-Semitism.

Rabbi Berg isn't the only one suggesting that Judaism and the Torah can have a wider appeal than just to the Jewish people. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has almost made a career out of offering aspects of Judaism to non-Jews. Last November, I published a blog post reporting on his statements in the media promoting Seven Steps to Judaism for Non-Jews and one of Rabbi Boteach's better known books is Judaism for Everyone. What's going on here?

I don't have a Jewish perspective on why Jews would extend the Torah to non-Jews. Even Rabbi Berg says "There is a part in Judaism which wants it to be for Jews only", so the motivation for some Jewish Rabbis to reach a hand across the gulf that separates Jews from the rest of the world seems difficult to grasp. It is far easier to understand why Judaism would seek to isolate itself from the nations, given the long, painful, and often bloody history of how Gentiles in virtually every nation on earth, have sought to subvert, marginalize, subdue, harrass, and murder Jews.

This brings me back to the question, why are non-Jews attracted to Judaism? We don't have Jewish missionaries knocking on the doors of our homes trying to share the joys of the Torah with us. Synagogues aren't putting signs out front saying that "Everyone is welcome" and posting the times they offer services. Rabbi's aren't "televangelizing" on Saturday mornings, telling "the nations" to repent and seek the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

In fact, Messianic Judaism, the form of Judaism that by definition is most likely to seek to build a bridge between the Jewish and Christian worlds, struggles in its approach-avoidance relationship with Christianity and the Gentile disciples within their own midst (and keep in mind that in the world of psychology, "approach-avoidance" behavior is considered pathological).

I think that many Christians seek to satisfy their attraction to Judaism by joining the Messianic Jewish (MJ) world. The One Law (OL) movement within MJ is a particularly safe haven because of the basic premise in OL that Jews and Gentiles are completely equal, not only in the eyes of God, but in the observance of the mitzvot (Torah commandments). More "formal" Messianic Judaism proposes a "Bilateral Ecclesiology" approach whereby, Jews and Gentiles are equal in the sense of access to God, but not in terms of status, role, or mitzvot observance. While the majority of members in Messianic Jewish congregations are not Jewish, there is a drive in Messianic Judaism to develop a relationship with the larger Jewish community, and the presence of so many "Christians" in MJ congregations is at least an embarrassment if not actually an impediment to Jewish acceptance and community.

Despite all of the speed bumps, you still see Gentiles being drawn to the God of Jacob out of a sincere desire to find the true meaning of the God they (we) worship. Modern Christianity emphasizes belief and communal worship but tends to minimize directing the faithful to extend themselves into the world of doing charity and serving others (this isn't absolute, since many churches do have outreach and missionary programs). In contrast, Judaism promotes "deed over creed" and belief and especially spirituality as an abstract concept, are pushed to one side, in favor of "doing" the will of God, not just "feeling" it.

Judaism offers a structure that I don't think Christianity fully understands. Everyone belongs (if they're Jewish) and everyone knows their place. If you are a fairly concrete thinker, Judaism is a more understandable religious form. If you are an expansive and adventurous thinker, study of Torah and Talmud is also an attractive form of "doing" the mitzvot, since studying is a type of worship in its own right.

But does allowing Christians access to Judaism in any form make sense given the long, long history of enmity between these two "sister" religions? I sometimes wonder.

While on the surface, you can find numerous "interfaith" groups seeking to better the world based on their common values, this activity really obscures how truly alien Christianity and Judaism are to each other. The media uses the term Judeo-Christian as if there is more than a casual relationship between our two worlds but this is more of a political, rather than religious term. Christians still bristle at how Jews refuse to accept Jesus as the Jewish Messiah (and some churches still relate to Jews as "Christ-killers") and Jews still view Christian outreach with suspicion, seeing the specter of conversion and assimiilation continuing to cast a threatening shadow over a dwindling Jewish population.

As an intermarried husband (my wife is Jewish...non-Messianic), I live in a world where I walk on a bridge daily. My wife and I share children, a grandson, and a history of almost 29 years of marriage, but when she began the journey to reclaim her Judaism not many years ago, first through the Reform synagogue, and now with the Chabad, the world of religion and faith became one where we do not always easily interact. I know there are certain subjects that we do not address in conversation for the sake of peace in the home, and neither one of us is likely to be able (or in my wife's case, willing) to visit the other's place of worship.

Even having said all of that, I don't see myself surrendering my interest in Jewish study and worship. In one sense, it gives my wife and I a common platform on which to discuss God and who He is to us. On a more personal level, it provides a larger context for me to understand my own Christian faith with the realization that the Jewish people worshipped the One God and kept His Shabbat and His commandments thousands of years before the birth of Christ. I often ponder on the thought that when Moses was on Sinai immersed in the holiness of Hashem, my ancestors were no doubt making blood offerings to unspeakable pagan idols. Who am I and who is Christianity to say that the Jews have no valuable and instructive insights into the God we all claim to honor?

While I find the bridge between our two worlds compelling, and apparently so do a fair number of other non-Jews, I fear that my particular perspective is rather unique. Each of the groups I've mentioned, despite overtures of outreach and community, continue to reside within their walled castles and exist primarily to service their own members. Christians still tend to talk about improving their "witness" but emphasize transmitting a verbal message rather than offering a helping hand. Judaism, with the exceptions of people like Rabbis Berg and Boteach, continues to teach a Torah for the Jews and a distinctiveness from the nations that requires high walls and no points of entry for the Goyim. Messianic Judaism in some ways amplifies the Jewish message of separation from the nations in order to present a more "Jewish" message to larger Judaism, and the One Law movement continues to (for the most part) preach that the church is apostate and (non-Messianic) "Rabbinic" Judaism is a dead end.

I teach a message in my own little group that attempts to balance these positions and challenge some of our assumptions, but I'm only one person. Not being a dictator or a cult leader, I do not demand that my congregation (which doesn't actually "belong" to me) adhere to my view of the "world according to James", which in any event, is undergoing a continuing metamorphosis.

In the end, I can only speak for my own particular attraction to Judaism, since I see my world as a world of one; unique and even idiosyncratic. In Messianic Jewish and One Law groups, most intermarrieds share their faith, and Messianic Judaism represents a resolution rather than a conflict to a "mixed marriage". What works as a solution for most Gentile "Messianics" only furthers the divisions in my own life, including my married life.

Nevertheless, God is still there, and regardless of how anyone reading these words chooses to understand my faith and my dilemma, He is the God of all and, even though I am the merest speck floating on a vast ocean of Creation, I am still a person who was created in His image. Hopefully, that actually means something.

Assuming that God still chooses to be aware of me and my humble life and prayers, I will continue to move forward along the path upon which I now stand. I often refer to Jesus (Yeshua) as my traveling companion, but while he seems to be close at my side during some parts of the journey, at other times, I can't see him at all. It doesn't mean that he's not there (I hope), but that my perception of him has been dimmed through some lack in my own vision.

But it's that same vision that sees both Christianity and Judaism as required elements in my world of faith. I can't imagine one without the other, which again, makes me a rather odd duck, even in Messianic circles. I've noticed a significant drop off in interest on my blogspot lately, which may well mean that my journey along the path has lost its appeal to the rest of the world. While attracted to Judaism for the sake of God and to Christianity for the sake of my Savior, I still don't belong in purely one world or the other. Yet I cannot stay isolated in my small One Law group because my evolving understanding of God doesn't permit such as concrete vision of Jews and Christians as a fully fused identity, and Messianic Judaism in its most Jewish form, struggles with the very presence of people like me. Beyond that, my continued involvement in MJ/OL only serves to further separate my wife and I along the dimension of faith and especially communal worship.

I've been reading (Messianic) Jewish and Christian blog posts lately (yes, I "lurk" too) and in observing the language, concepts, and values being expressed, I realize that in all of those worlds, I am a "stranger in a strange land". I know that as a person of faith, I am most "alive" when I teach and interact with my group, but everything else in the world around me demands that I walk away from them and follow a different course. Though there are ample examples in the Bible that convince me a person of faith must be part of a convocation of worshipers, in my case, I can see no alternative but to proceed forward alone.

Will God choose to continue His relationship with me if I deliberately set myself adrift at sea?

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. -Albert Einstein

Of all the stratagems, to know when to quit is the best. -Chinese Proverb

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark. The sky is clear as I journey, but I know a storm is coming.

Faith and the Book of Bart

Probably the one question I get asked more than any other by people who know that I am an agnostic scholar of the New Testament, is why I continue to study and teach the New Testament if I no longer believe in it?

This is a question that has never made much sense to me. The Bible is the most important book in the history of Western civilization. It is the most widely purchased, the most thoroughly studied, the most highly revered, and the most completely misunderstood book - ever! Why wouldn't I want to study it?

Jesus Interrupted
Chapter Eight: Is Faith Possible?
by Bart D. Ehrman

Dr. Ehrman goes on to describe his study of the Bible to be like scholars who study the works of Chaucer, Homer, Plato, and so on. But the classic works of these writers are not said to be the inspired writings of God and do not represent the sacred writings of millions of people, both past and present. Nevertheless, it is Ehrman's stated response to what seems to be a very understandable question.

More to the point, Dr. Ehrman describes the relationship between the issue of faith and what he writes and teaches as follows:

Some readers will find it surprising that I do not see the material in the preceding chapters as an attack on Christianity or an agnostic's attempt to show that faith, even Christian faith, is meaningless and absurd. That is not what I think, and it is not what I have been trying to accomplish.

I have been trying, instead, to make serious scholarship on the Bible and the earliest Christianity accessible and available to people who may be interested in the New Testament but who, for one reason or another, have never heard what scholars have long known and thought about it.

Ehrman doesn't go into detail in this book, but he says that his studies of and conclusions about the Bible did not result in his putting aside his faith. Rather, it was the issue of perpetual human suffering on earth that finally caused him to walk away from Christianity. In other words, the classic question of "why would a loving God permit innocent people to suffer" could not be reconciled sufficiently to allow Ehrman to believe that the God of the Bible could be the God of the universe.

As I was reading this final chapter of Ehrman's book, I started thinking of how many other people have suffered terribly and yet retained their faith. What did they have that Dr. Ehrman lacked or perhaps, what did they lack that Dr. Ehrman had?

There's no way to really examine a person's faith. Each person's faith is as unique as fingerprints and as elusive as the soul. Although my faith has been challenged recently, I don't feel that it has weakened (perhaps momentarily) and maybe it has even gotten a bit stronger. There's something about having to rise to a challenge that either defeats a person, or results in them being able to exceed what they thought were their limits. I'm hoping the latter is what's going on with me.

At my congregation yesterday, I talked a lot about this topic. I adapted some of the things I learned in Ehrman's book and asked my class to try and determine the day that Jesus died. It seems to vary depending on which Gospel account you read and in the end, we couldn't point to a definitive answer (it's not a foregone conclusion that Jesus was crucified on "Good Friday"). I mentioned in my previous blog post that we read the Bible as much with our faith and our Spirit as we do with our mind and our intellect. The Bible can be seen as the inspired Word of God, the testimony of the witnesses of the life of Jesus, and a very human response to dilemmas of faith. One of the dilemmas presented by the Bible is that under close examination, it's not as "perfect" as we often suppose.

A life of faith can't be lived solely with a historical understanding of the events that took place 2,000 years ago in another part of the world, although that information certainly is important. A life of faith is negotiated directly with God and we often struggle with Him as much as Jacob did with the angel (Genesis 32:22-32). I also believe that, like Jacob, once you've had that struggle, you are marked for life. In Jacob's case, he carried a limp for the rest of his days. For us, the scars or signs are different and unique, but they are very real.

The fact that Ehrman calls himself an agnostic and not an atheist is one sign of his struggle. So is the fact that he doesn't outright denounce Christian faith as bogus and unintelligent. Why does he maintain his particular opinions when everything else he has written points to faith as fictional? Why (besides the fact that he teaches New Testament classes at the university level) does he associate and is close friends with other New Testament scholars who are also Christians?

Besides reading one of Ehrman's books and listening to an audio recording of a debate between him and Dr. Michael L. Brown, I know nothing of Dr. Ehrman and can't claim any special knowledge of his life.

But how he describes himself gives us clues to the nature of our own faith and the dangers believing people face. We live in a world that seems designed to disassemble faith in God and which glorifies sin, debauchery, and corruption. Further, even within the community of faith, a vast spectrum of scholarly opinions abound, and we seem bombarded with this authority or that, telling us that only they are right and everybody else is wrong. It would almost be easier to give up a life of faith than to continually swim against such a powerful tide.

But people of faith have been assaulted throughout the ages. How many Jews were tortured and murdered for refusing to renounce their faith and be forcibly converted to Christ, who they saw as a false Messiah? How many of them went to their deaths singing the Shema and were faithful to the God of Jacob to their very last breath?

Almost three years ago, a dear lady in our congregation named Cyndy succumbed to cancer after a long and agonizing battle. Her husband Dale and their five children were devastated and, if anyone had a right to ask where God was while Cyndy was slowly and painfully dying, it was this family. In spite of the horror that accompanied Cyndy's decline and passing, her husband, to this day, remains one of the most faithful believers I have ever met. His wife's suffering, the grief of his children, and the agony of his own loss drove him closer to God, not away from Him.

Coward that I am, I pray that God never tests me the way he tested Dale and his family, but God does what He does. God does not require that we understand Him and His actions, only that we continue to believe and to live a life honoring the Creator and serving our fellow human beings.

I wish I could say that my faith is rock solid and that nothing life or God throws at me will change it, but if I ever became that arrogant, I'm afraid God would indeed put me to the test and humble me down to the dark basement of my existence. No, I don't ask for such a challenge, and whatever He does allow or provide, for good or for ill, I pray that my faith will endure and that the Messiah will continue to walk with me, as my stalwart companion and protector, as we travel along the road.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -Plato

The road is long and often, we travel in the dark, but we don't have to travel alone.