Comment by "Anonymous" at
Kineti L'Tziyon
Before I begin, although I'm quoting from your blog Judah, I'm not singling you out...I'm talking about all of us, especially me. Now I hope you are all listening. This is about everyone.
As I continue to contemplate my transition out of the "Messianic" (sorry, I still can't think of a better way to say it) community, I'm thinking about the things I'll miss or rather the people I'll miss (and hopefully, I'll be able to maintain relationships even after I am no longer "formally affiliated"). Very recently, I've started thinking about the things I won't miss.
As I mentioned by way of an introduction, I didn't choose the above quote to take a shot at Judah or to create any sort of insult. However, I needed an example of a "conflict" in the Messianic blogosphere and this one seems to "hottest" right now, though it's not the first and probably won't be the last.
Here's what I won't miss.
I won't miss the fighting, the back and forth "bashing", the hurt feelings, the insults, the snide remarks, or the jockeying for positions of importance or significance. Again, I'm not pointing at one or two individuals or one or two blogs. At one time or another almost every Messianic blog has had some of this going in the comments sections and some of the time as part of the blog topic.
Divisive and controversial blog posts get the most attention, the most hits, and the most comments. Blog posts about simple acts of kindness, loving your neighbor, or the need to have faith in difficult circumstances tend to not be considered "interesting".
I know I'm painting a picture of the Messianic movement as conflict driven and perhaps even a bit hostile, and that's not really true...exactly. However, by definition, the Messianic community in its widest scope throws some very unalike people and groups together in the same basket and they can fight like a mongoose taking on a nest of cobras.
In the midst of all of the emotional head on collisions, I sometimes recall the following scripture with irony and even chagrin:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” -John 13:34Regardless whether you're Jewish or Gentile; regardless whether you call yourself Messianic or Christian, you have gone on record as saying you are a disciple of Yeshua (Jesus). If you really mean that, then this "new" commandment is meant for you, too. As we are in the midst of verbally bashing one another, standing our ground, having our say, and defending our honor, do we ever consider what Yeshua thinks about all this?
Someday we will face judgment for everything we've said and done in our lives. Not just for the "big stuff", but also for each and every careless action, thoughtless word, casual and cruel thought. Look back on what you've blogged and how you've commented on other people's blogs. Look at what you've said and how you've felt a "moral right" to defend your position, even if you had to drag another person's name and reputation through the mud to do it.
When we're challenged by others for our words and deeds, rarely do we take the time to stop, consider the possibility that we might actually have been wrong, and then try to make amends. Instead, we behave defensively, redouble our "assertive" efforts, and push back twice as hard as we did before. Do you really want to try that strategy with the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords? Do you actually think he will be impressed?
I want to say again that, even though I quoted from a comment posted on Judah's blog, I am not picking on him or singling him out. I am not picking on any one individual, blog, or particular viewpoint. At one time or another, I've seen at least questionable behavior out of many of the "major players" in the world of Messianic blogging. I'm sorry if you don't believe me and I'm sorry if you don't see it in yourself (and I certainly see it in myself, and I'm sorry), but God can't be fooled and He knows the heart.
I can't count the number of "the tongue is wicked" verses there are in the Bible (though I suppose they are finite and therefore countable), but they're in our Bibles for a reason. Our "tongues" now extend into the text-only world of Internet blogging, which makes them all the more dangerous, because we have the potential to affect hundreds and even thousands of people with a sudden burst of temper. Our tongues are all the more dangerous because blogging fabulously increases the risk that our words will be misunderstood, because there's no vocal tone, facial expression, or body language to modify the meaning of the text.
I love many of you who are reading these words. I don't say this to hurt anyone and I hope and pray that I maintain relations with you regardless of the outcome of this one little blog, and regardless of the passage of time or the changes I am in the process of making in my own faith lifestyle.
I also would be a very poor believer (and I'm hardly saying I'm "great") if I didn't "practice what I preach". I'm sorry. I apologize for all of the times I've carelessly or deliberately hurt anyone, including anyone who has read my words but never commented. If I don't ask for forgiveness from you, and don't practice forgiveness of others, how can I expect God to forgive me? How can we expect God to forgive us?
I am truly sorry for anything I've said or done against you.
But how can I be honest before God and be a friend to you and just gloss this mess over? If I come to a point where I don't have relationship with some of you, I will miss you...but I won't miss how we hurt each other in the name of Jesus Christ and in the Name of God.
We got to stop damaging each other. How can we be recognized as disciples of the Master by our love if we don't show love? How will what we do today, injure the faith of others? And how many people will we prevent from coming to faith in the future because of what we say today?
"A Jew never gives up. We're here to bring Mashiach, we will settle for nothing less." -Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh
22 comments:
"Someday we will face judgment for everything we've said and done in our lives."
So true. Heavy. Thanks for these words...I share you feelings on this topic, James.
Amein.
James, I wholeheartedly agree!
At the same time, theological blogging will die out if we only talked about things that everyone "ameined". No intellect will be stimulated. Toes will be stepped on and people will be insulted when their holy cows are tipped (as you've seen in the last few days). The key is, I think, is to take on a particular theological position without getting too personal or certainly without heaping insults. Another key is to not be so thin skinned. Jews can have diametrically opposed views when arguing theology, without the hate and feeling insulted. Perhaps messianics should learn from that example.
For example, as you well know, I have long held that One Law and Two House teachings are supersessionist, divisive (causing division between Jews and Gentiles, between Christians and messianics) and are very damaging yesterday, today and in the long run. That's a very strong statement to make, I know. I didn't get personal in my post (and tried not to in my comments, I don't know if I succeeded), didn't mention any names. Some people may have been insulted because I painted their belief system a certain way (although they have yet to refute the actual blog post), BUT many more have started thinking and reflecting on their presuppositions. It's truly is a double-edged sword.
My "amein" is regarding the bickering and name calling. Healthy debate/arguments that is sometimes necessary can do without the insults, even if one don't agree with someone else's position.
There's a difference between healthy debate and a frank exchange of ideas, and going out of our way to publicly trash someone. I think we know what that difference is.
ultimately, online discourse is a sorry replacement for actual conversation.
It allows us to elevate ourselves in our own estimation...and gives way for ego strokes that aren't deserved...
and as we've seen over and over, it provides a wonderful platform for us to caricaturize each other and each others viewpoints.
I have a strong feeling that should we actually be in a room together we would be slower to jump at perceived misunderstandings...and quicker to give the other people (who as James pointed out in an earlier blog are sacred creations as well) the benefit of the doubt.
At least I should hope that would be the case.
I have a strong feeling that should we actually be in a room together we would be slower to jump at perceived misunderstandings...and quicker to give the other people (who as James pointed out in an earlier blog are sacred creations as well) the benefit of the doubt.
I'm sure that's exactly how it would be if we faced each other in the same room. The Internet creates the illusion of privacy and protection. After all, no one can throw a punch through hundreds or thousands of miles of fiber optic backbone cable. I still think heated discussions would occur, but we would be more measured in our words and responses.
Funny, on the drive into work this morning, I was thinking about the Sacred blog post. I was also thinking of that part of the nighttime Shema where we forgive everyone who has injured us in some way including, "..may no Jew be punished because of me."
In my case, I say "may no one be punished.." but it's a beautiful and humbling sentiment. What would happen if we all said the nighttime Shema (and meant it) every night? How would we treat each other the next morning? How would God treat us if we failed in our prayerful sincerity?
"I still think heated discussions would occur"
no doubt! they are necessary. However, ranting it much harder to do in person...let alone a discussion where people are mutually committed to the relationship.
"What would happen if we all said the nighttime Shema (and meant it) every night?"
taking stock of ones actions throughout the day...hmmm...
sounds like a good practce.
If only there was something out there that could provide some instruction along those lines...
oh wait.
rivertonmussar.org
;-)
If only there was something out there that could provide some instruction along those lines...
oh wait.
rivertonmussar.org
Tempting.
Can't blame ya for getting out of this "everyone insults everyone" crap.
I was tempted to ignore Boaz's and Gene's insults. But there's a time when you have to stand up for your beliefs. This was one of those times, and I don't regret doing it.
"I was tempted to ignore Boaz's and Gene's insults."
Judah, you are so wrong about this. In my blog post I was critiquing a theology and groups that espouse it (yes, it was a strong criticism - so what?), but I did not even mention you once, didn't link to your blog or ever dropped any living person's name associated with the theologies I described. No insults were directed at you at any time. Same for Boaz - the man remained so gracious throughout. What's more, he never mentioned you by name.
Instead, you chose to personalize this between Boaz, Derek, me and you, and turn this into a personal conflict, as if someone cursed you out to your face. No you are demanding retractions and apologies. I can't count how many times you slammed BE theology and its advocates BY NAME on your own blog and in comments. Did any of your targets ever respond the way you did? I wish you analyzed this more careful before you reacted like this, but I don't harbor ill feelings toward you personally for anything you ever said about my beliefs or groups I associate with.
You and Boaz said ugly, false things about my community, the non-Bilateral Ecclesiologist, Messianic community.
I drew attention to your comments and refuted them. I consider it important for the Messianic community to know what its leaders believe.
I stood up for my beliefs, for my community's beliefs, for our name which you have tried to heap dirt on. I stood up for what's right, and I don't regret doing so.
I am sorry you feel this way, Judah.
This matter's been blown way out of proportion. Opinions about the different expressions of the Messianic movement operate along a continuum. Frankly, Boaz is pretty much a "moderate" in the continuum and Gene is probably more conservative than he is. The really conservative guys almost never comment or blog about their positions, which would probably result in a great deal of upset and dismay for OL and TH members and congregations. I take it for granted that not everyone is going to agree with me and yes, I've felt insulted from time to time and squawked about it. Interestingly enough, I'm still friends (or I hope I am, anyway) with most of the people I squawked about.
I'll say it again. It's possible to disagree with someone, even a great deal and not make the conflict personal. Debate if you will. Argue if you will. It's not personal.
Visit a trial in a court sometime. The prosecutor and defense attorneys act like they hate each other. The Judge is stern with both of them (I actually saw this once). After the trial is over and the jury has left the room, stick around a few minutes. The Judge and the two attorneys magically turn into the best of friends and plan to go out to dinner together and maybe for a few rounds of golf on the weekend.
Nothing personal.
I wonder when all this is over, what God will think of our efforts? I imagine He tolerates us as a parent tolerates small children, waiting for us to get older and begin to see him, and who we are in him, as we really are.
James, love your last comment, especially your judge/attorneys analogy.
"James, love your last comment, especially your judge/attorneys analogy."
I second that.
Reading Making a Successful Jewish Interfaith Marriage. Found this comment helpful and think it could be applied to the current context:
In many families, countless hurtful words and deeds have been exchanged as a result of the marital decision their children have made. No matter how hurtful an event or how much pain has been caused by something said or done, forgiveness is still possible. Danny told me that it wasn't until his father was in his late eighties that he felt able to forgive him for the pain he had caused.
This sort of pain is within the context of parents rejecting us or our choice of mates in interfaith marriages, which are extremely emotionally charged. If forgiveness is possible within that realm, it's possible here, too.
Guys, Boaz Michael believes something ugly about my community. He believes we are supersessionists in what we do, and are essentially enemies of Israel/harmful to Israel.
He hasn't apologized for that, and having spoken with him over the phone today, he doesn't intend to.
Hearing a friend like Boaz say that did hurt. I forgive him for that.
But stepping back, objectively, he believes something I don't. He believes something many Messianics don't. It's important to let my community know what one of our leaders believes.
I stand behind drawing attention to his statements. I stand behind defending my faith. I am not ashamed of doing any of that. I won't be guilted into silence about it. I am proud of standing up for what's right, even in the face of all the nastiness that ensued, like the hilarious accusations that I have an animalistic soul, or am choosing blog traffic over Yeshua's commands.
I am curious when calls for "civility" are themselves exercises in division. James, your point is couched in the niceties of your considerable writing talents; but isn't your point that you are above all that divisive stuff? < grin >
Hardy har har, Rick. < grin >
I've tried not to take a "superior" position here and I believe that I'm as much to blame for the divisions that are occuring among the body of Messiah as anyone else. One of the major reasons why I've decided to ultimately exit the Messianic world is so that I don't continue to be a source of division and divisiveness.
Until I leave however, I can't promise that I won't 'stir the pot' a bit. My most recent blog post continues the process.
Let the games begin.
James, you sporting fellow. Not only your words but your wit keeps me coming back.
En garde!
B"H
I'll take that as a complement. Thanks, Rick.
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